No significant difference has been shown between those who drive a lamborghini and those who don't.

While eating breakfast this weekend I was reading the milk container and that happy little yellow circle caught my eye:

It reads: "From cows not treated with rBST**"

So I thought, "Wow! This is some really high quality milk, no rBST (whatever that is). If it's not in there, it must be because it is really bad for us. Phew. I'm drinking good milk." And then I noticed the asterisks (**) and turned the carton to see this:

"No significant difference has been shown between milk derived from rBST-treated cows and non rBST treated cows."

I laughed because of how silly it sounded. There, on the front of the carton, this milk company was boasting about the quality of it's product, and in small print they were basically saying that it didn't matter. HA! They were boasting about something that wasn't even important!

My husband cleverly said in an announcer's voice, "No significant difference has been shown between those who drive a lamborghini and those who don't." We laughed and then realized the silliness of boasting about things that don't matter. It quickly set in that this is what all boasting is, unless we boast in the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23-34 says,

Thus says the LORD: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.”

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 says,

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

Back to Blogging.....I hope

Since going to Seminary, I haven't had the time or capacity to write more than what I was asked to write for papers, both theological and counseling "response" style. But our life is changing now....

We are moving to Seattle,

we are expecting our first baby (due Oct 30),

we just got accepted to Mission to the World (MTW) to go back up to Canada to work with Marcus Toole, the Missionary to the Cree people! This is us celebrating with other new MTW missionaries....

I hope to use my blog as I have in the past - a means of communication with friends and supporters, a way to share our life with you, and a way for you to know how to pray for our family. As always, we would love to know how to pray for you too! Please keep me posted on your lives and how we can be a blessing to you in return. I share my heart as a kind of an open door for you to share in return.

So...let the blogging begin (again).

Joy and Sorrow

Dear Ones,

Thank you for all your prayers for Daniel and me over the last few days. Sometimes life possesses so much beauty and tragedy all at the same time that it makes it hard to breath. I haven't been able to catch my breath since I got to Seattle on Sunday afternoon. Every time I take in a breath, the sadness and grief seem to constrict the capacity of my lungs and I just can't seem to get enough air in. Mourning is so strange.

Just two days after our honeymoon, my beloved husband got on a plane to Seattle to be with his dying Mom. Things were looking very grim and I could hardly handle being apart from him any longer, so I came on Sunday. We went directly to the hospital where each of Daniel's siblings and spouses went into the room one by one to tell Barbara that she had permission to go home. We said our tearful goodbyes and waited. I cannot tell you the kind of beauty and strength I saw in my husband that day. He wept on his mother's face and shoulder, recounting sweet memories and things she used to say to him, apologizing and forgiving for whatever came to his mind, telling her of the beauty of going home so she wouldn't have to suffer any more. Seeing DH tenderly care for his dying mother gave me a greater love for him, and a pre-mature confidence in the kind of care I might one day have on my death bed from the man I love. I am more confident than ever that I am in good hands. Ten days into marriage is certainly not the time you think you will contemplate the death of your spouse or your own death. We said, "till death do us part" in our vows, but it is just so awful to actually be faced with death this soon.

I don't remember who said it, but someone wrote that grief is like walking to the top of the stairs and thinking that there was one more step. Your foot falls a little more heavily than you anticipated it would. You are caught off guard, off balance, and it is a bit of a shock. Though we are all thankful that Barbara is with Jesus and no longer suffering, it is still a bit jarring to not have that last expected step under our feet.

My hope is that I will learn more and more about Barbara in the coming days and years so that I will somehow feel like I knew her. I never really had the chance to get to know her. Daniel's memories will teach me, and I am an eager learner. Barbara wrote several Bible studies and I hope to use those studies in my ministry to women, because they are amazingly written, but also because it will be a way for me to know her heart.

I'm surprised at the number of words I now have. Yesterday I could hardly talk about it.

The service is going to be at 2pm on Friday afternoon at Greenlake Presbyterian Church (6318 Linden Avenue North, Seattle, WA 98103-5659; (206) 789-7320)

The address for Phil Proctor (Barbara's husband) is: 14842 Wallingford Ave N, Shoreline, WA 98133.

Thanks again for your prayers and love for us,

Emily

Prayer Vigil Tonight

I am exhausted today. We have 3 days left here before we make the trip back to the States. It has been a wonderful time and I have learned so much about so many things I did not expect to learn. (Spiritual warfare being the biggest one, I think.) Two nights ago I had another really rough night and was attacked again by the enemy, or "spooks" as some people here say. It was the same kind of thing that it was last time, dogs barking, bed shaking, and dark shadows swirling around the ceiling (I didn't mention that part of it the first time because I kind of thought I was imagining it or that it just wasn't real, but after seeing it the second time I know it was legit.) Yesterday was a long day of fighting off the shame and confusion that Satan wanted me be clouded by. At the end of the day DH and I spent a long time in prayer. I am beginning to see some strange connections to the spiritual warfare and strongholds in my life.

Isn't it funny how I thought I was supposed to come here to be the strong and able counselor for the people on the Rez, and here I am being taught a lesson in prayer (calling quickly on the name of Jesus like Much Afraid learned in Hinds Feet on High Places), a lesson in humility, a lesson in releasing my self sufficiency and human strength to wait on God, trust in Him and let Him do His work. Wow.

So, like I said, I'm pretty exhausted. We have plans to do an all night prayer vigil tonight at the church that will last until dinner tomorrow night. The structure of Jesus Church is actually quite symbolic of what we will be doing. The steeple is a pair of praying hands that leads up to the heavens and a cross is on the top. As we pray, I am confident that the forces of darkness will be against us.

• Pray that God will bless the Medicine Men here with repentance; that any Medicine they throw our way will fall dead to the ground and that they will know that the God of Bible is the true Creator (we don't want those who curse us to be cursed, but rather to bless them, and we think that the greatest blessing they could be given is repentance from witchcraft)
• Pray for greater faith and trust in the King
• Pray that our time of prayer tonight through tomorrow will be refreshing and that God will hear our prayers and that the Holy Spirit would be clearly present with us as we pray.
• We hope to meet with the Chief's son today. I can't say much but it seems that the Lord's hand is on this young man's life. He is not yet a believer, but seems to be open to the gospel. Pray for God's leading in our visit today, and especially that Jean and I might be able to establish a friendship with his "common law" wife

Pow-Wow Drum Circle

The sound of a Pow-Wow drum accompanied by the wailing and screaming sounds of Native singers is a bit haunting, as well is should be. The Native practice of the drum is used to channel ancestor spirits to the drum. It's basically a form of ancestor worship. The words aren't really words as much as they are chants. The drum is a proud instrument, and in order for that part of Native Culture (aka spiritist religion) to be redeemed it must first be humbled.

For a sacred object in a demonic religion to be redeemed in order to be used in a Christian context, it must first be profaned. Profaning something takes away it's power or it's meaning, it's basically being irreverent towards something in a way that erases it's power. The Bible talks about how people have profaned the name of God over and over again, thereby denying His power in their own lives. This is sad, because God is the very one who we need to know the power and strength of. And a proud thing, like the drum, is what really needs to be profaned.

Remember when God says he opposes the proud, but he exalts the humble? That's what I'm talking about with the drum. Marcus, has taught me a lot about redeeming Native Culture. Before I came, I lived in the camp that says you can redeem anything in culture for God's use. But now that I understand there are a lot of things that are straight up demonic and therefore cannot be redeemed but rather, need to be renounced. Seems kind of harsh, I know, but we are talking about fighting against the principalities of the world here. I'm not interested in redeeming something that Satan wants to use to keep God's people in bondage.

Anyway, though this little concert from the Pow-Wow drum group was kind of cool to see, it also brought a lot of spiritual warfare to the team who was sleeping in the gym where they performed. In other words, the channeling of spirits worked. It is not anything to be trifled with.

One Week Left...Oh and I found a friend in Canada!

The missions team who was here last week has all gone home. Last week is now somewhat of a blur. Yesterday ended up being a wonderful day of rest and recuperation for me. I slept in, went swimming with DH, we had a yummy Saturday brunch, then I got to go hang out with Maureen for the whole afternoon, when I got back home DH picked me up and took me on a wonderful date to a really good Greek Tavern in Wetaskiwin. After a day like that I kind of forgot about the Rez and all that is going on there....all the spiritual warfare seemed to not feel so acute, all the chaos of their lives was forgotten just for a day, and I felt like I could take a deep breath.

I have been afraid of not having any friends here - and I mean heart friends, kindred spirits, bosom sisters. Well, I do believe the Lord has answered that request already!! Maureen and Reed are a really cool couple in their late 40's who we met at the very beginning of our trip. She is a gifted intercessor and a very talented home interior decorator. She's got great hair and spunky glasses and is just so fun to be around. She's super hospitable and you can talk your face off with her for a few hours and not know all that time passed. We walked through a park in Leduc (pronounced Lah-duke), grabbed coffee, walked some more, and then spent some time praying together at their home. I am so thankful for Maureen. I feel that if and when the Lord gets DH and I back up here, she will be a friend I can go to for girl time and great spiritual encouragement. The above pic is from the first night we met Maureen and Reed.

My heart is greatly encouraged, which is good because I am tired. And I don't know that I have the strength to get to church today and face the chaos. But part of what the Lord is teaching me here is that it isn't me and it isn't my strength that He needs in order for His will to be done. He just needs my love for Him and my love for the Cree. I have been in awe of the Canola fields....bright yellow and delicious to look at. The other pic is of my beloved and me in one of those luscious fields.

Feeling Ill Prepared

Daniel and I were up until 2 am talking and crying and praying about our hearts, fears, confusions, hopes, disappointments and many more things related to our future ministry, life in Wetaskiwin, and the dynamics of our own relationship. I have never felt so unprepared for ministry as I do right now. I knew, in sort of a far off, intellectual way, that ministry to First Nations would be hard. But being here for 12 days now has opened my eyes to just exactly how hard and why. This may sound like I don't want to do it, or that it's awful, or that I'm being dramatic, but that's not where my heart is. I am simply being realistic about the difficulty that lies before us. It is quite humbling to have worked with The Navigators and received some of the best ministry training there is out there over the course of four years, and then to attend Covenant Seminary where the teaching and community is incredibly solid, and then to come here and feel like everything that I've learned doesn't work here. Or at least I don't know how to integrate it all yet. (Hello, I've only been here for 12 days.)

It has felt like any idea I have had so far to connect with the women, or reach out to those who stay at home all day long, has fallen flat. Because the ideas that have worked with college students and with white women just aren't the right ideas for this setting and for these women. The idea of waiting for an open door is so essential in this ministry and if you force your way in you can actually get hurt here. Jean and I were hoping to make a second visit to a woman's home we went to earlier this week. When we walked into her kitchen she (who is around 85) and a few of her family members were doing a little Medicine ceremony at the kitchen table and we bopped in all friendly and Christian (and I, clueless). When we asked another older woman who is a Believer if she would come back with us to help translate, she said no. She also told us that we need to be careful to not force our way into a home like that because they could hurt us and we wouldn't even know it.

I have concerns and fears as well as joy and curiosity about living in a town with a population of 11-12,000. Who will our friends be? How will we find community here? There's also something simple about living in a small town. It's actually something I haven't experienced. I grew up in the country 15 min outside of a town big enough to have shopping and doctors and all the things you need in life. And then I've lived in big cities since then. (Even my college town had like 36-38,000 people in it.)

Please pray....

• For DH and I to be blessed with "bosom friends" - people who we could both laugh so hard with we cry and then in the same interaction be able to talk about how we are growing in the Lord
• Pray for a group of godly women for me and for a group of god fearing men for Daniel
• For a team of 8 people to be here with us when we come. That means we need 5 other people to join us. Please plead with the Lord - the harvest is ripe but the laborers are few.
• For unity and sweet connectedness in DH and my relationship - we still have much to learn about one another and my prayer is that God will unify our hearts even more than He has as we continue to grow together, learn more about one another, and prepare for ministry

PS - the bright yellow Canola fields and the HUGE skies with glorious billow-y clouds are my favorite things here so far. Every day, I either think or say, "AH!! Look at those clouds!!!"

A greater burden to pray for the Cree

My heart was beating out of my chest as we climbed out of the 15 passenger van on the Cree Sundance grounds. We were instructed by Marcus that we could get out of the vans if we wanted but not to go any closer. We had just driven through a forrest of trees that had cloth offerings tied to them. It was an erie and haunting place to drive through. In Native Culture they believe that they must make offerings of cloth and tobacco to the trees surrounding the Sundance lodge in order to protect the sacred ground surrounding it. You would never see a cloth offering in a random forrest.

A cloth offering is very simply a rag that is wrapped around a tree trunk and tied in a knot with a couple feet of cloth left hanging down. Many of the trees had several different colored pieces of cloth tied around them. They call them "prints."

After driving through this forrest, we came into a clearing where we saw the Sundance lodge. There were actually 3 or 4 of them I think. One was the most prominent, and was built up with walls and branches and lots of cloth offerings hanging down. There was at least one place to do a sweat - it was just a little pod-like looking structure made from tree branches stuck in the ground and bent over to stick in the ground on the other side too. It is just big enough for one person to crawl inside and be wrapped up in the fetal position. This makes perfect sense because they believe that a sweat is being in Mother Nature's womb. They put hot rocks inside and pour water on them (it functions like a sauna) and do a sweat for purification.

The Sundance, however is a whole different activity. People will come once a year and do a sundance in order to see visions. They fast from water and food for three days and get themselves into a kind of trance. Marcus explained that they will hold a kind of rattle made from bone and fix their eyes on the center pole of the Sundance tent. (This center pole channels the thunderbird spirit. At the base of the pole are buffalo skulls, and at the top is a next-like structure called the spirit nest.) They bend their knees a little and sway up on their tip-toes and back down again while they shake the bone-rattle, for SIX HOURS. Imagine doing calf raises for SIX HOURS and the kind of pain you would experience. Now, imagine doing that with no food or water for three days, and having to fix your eyes in one place. Now, add the layer of demonic activity and essentially demonic control over a place like that and the people who subject themselves to it.

I couldn't help but cry as we stood at a safe distance away from the lodges. The various colors of cloth hanging from the beams of the structures and wrapped around the spirit nests were like ghosts. The people leave them there to keep praying for them when they are not there.

Late last week, I started praying that the Lord would give me the gift of the discernment of spirits. It seems that you kind of need that gift to be able to do well in a place like this. Although there is something kind of nice about being totally oblivious. The last few days I've had more courage to pray against Satan in the name of Jesus Christ whenever I feel a little "off." I'm not saying that every time you "feel funny" that there's something spiritual going on, however, I think the Lord is teaching me to pray boldly and with authority so if and when He blesses me with discernment of spirits I am ready to pray and speak the name of Christ.

Something weird happened last night, which is part of the practice God is giving me, I think. I was practically asleep when the neighbor's dog barked just once right outside my window. It woke me up and startled me a bit. I was a little bit scared and then I felt my bed shaking a little bit. It felt like it would if someone was sitting on a bed next to you and bouncing their foot on the floor or something. It was slight but very noticeable. And it seemed to be getting more intense. So I started praying and praying and praying, rebuking Satan and commanding him to be gone. And then I started praising Jesus for who He is. The shaking slowly stopped. And what darkness seemed to be filling my room slowly subsided and I was able to sleep.

The road to salvation for a Native is very very rough. They drive on mud roads on the Rez, and when it rains the roads are really bad to drive on. Even if they get grated they are like corduroy. As we drove around all of Hobbema last night on these rough roads all I could think of was how rough the road to Christ is for these dear people.

PLEASE keep praying with me. PLEASE pray for the release of demonic power on the Cree (and all First Nations people across the continent). PLEASE pray for God's glory to reign in our hearts and in this land.

(I'll try to post a few of DH's pics of the Sundance Lodge soon)