my.beautiful.journey

No significant difference has been shown between those who drive a lamborghini and those who don't.

2011-08-15T11:56:00.001-05:00

While eating breakfast this weekend I was reading the milk container and that happy little yellow circle caught my eye:

It reads: "From cows not treated with rBST**"

So I thought, "Wow! This is some really high quality milk, no rBST (whatever that is). If it's not in there, it must be because it is really bad for us. Phew. I'm drinking good milk." And then I noticed the asterisks (**) and turned the carton to see this:

"No significant difference has been shown between milk derived from rBST-treated cows and non rBST treated cows."

I laughed because of how silly it sounded. There, on the front of the carton, this milk company was boasting about the quality of it's product, and in small print they were basically saying that it didn't matter. HA! They were boasting about something that wasn't even important!

My husband cleverly said in an announcer's voice, "No significant difference has been shown between those who drive a lamborghini and those who don't." We laughed and then realized the silliness of boasting about things that don't matter. It quickly set in that this is what all boasting is, unless we boast in the Lord.

Jeremiah 9:23-34 says,

Thus says the LORD: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.”

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 says,

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

Back to Blogging.....I hope

2011-07-29T10:06:00.005-05:00

Since going to Seminary, I haven't had the time or capacity to write more than what I was asked to write for papers, both theological and counseling "response" style. But our life is changing now....

We are moving to Seattle,

we are expecting our first baby (due Oct 30),

we just got accepted to Mission to the World (MTW) to go back up to Canada to work with Marcus Toole, the Missionary to the Cree people! This is us celebrating with other new MTW missionaries....

I hope to use my blog as I have in the past - a means of communication with friends and supporters, a way to share our life with you, and a way for you to know how to pray for our family. As always, we would love to know how to pray for you too! Please keep me posted on your lives and how we can be a blessing to you in return. I share my heart as a kind of an open door for you to share in return.

So...let the blogging begin (again).

Joy and Sorrow

2010-08-31T13:49:00.006-05:00

Dear Ones,

Thank you for all your prayers for Daniel and me over the last few days. Sometimes life possesses so much beauty and tragedy all at the same time that it makes it hard to breath. I haven't been able to catch my breath since I got to Seattle on Sunday afternoon. Every time I take in a breath, the sadness and grief seem to constrict the capacity of my lungs and I just can't seem to get enough air in. Mourning is so strange.

Just two days after our honeymoon, my beloved husband got on a plane to Seattle to be with his dying Mom. Things were looking very grim and I could hardly handle being apart from him any longer, so I came on Sunday. We went directly to the hospital where each of Daniel's siblings and spouses went into the room one by one to tell Barbara that she had permission to go home. We said our tearful goodbyes and waited. I cannot tell you the kind of beauty and strength I saw in my husband that day. He wept on his mother's face and shoulder, recounting sweet memories and things she used to say to him, apologizing and forgiving for whatever came to his mind, telling her of the beauty of going home so she wouldn't have to suffer any more. Seeing DH tenderly care for his dying mother gave me a greater love for him, and a pre-mature confidence in the kind of care I might one day have on my death bed from the man I love. I am more confident than ever that I am in good hands. Ten days into marriage is certainly not the time you think you will contemplate the death of your spouse or your own death. We said, "till death do us part" in our vows, but it is just so awful to actually be faced with death this soon.

I don't remember who said it, but someone wrote that grief is like walking to the top of the stairs and thinking that there was one more step. Your foot falls a little more heavily than you anticipated it would. You are caught off guard, off balance, and it is a bit of a shock. Though we are all thankful that Barbara is with Jesus and no longer suffering, it is still a bit jarring to not have that last expected step under our feet.

My hope is that I will learn more and more about Barbara in the coming days and years so that I will somehow feel like I knew her. I never really had the chance to get to know her. Daniel's memories will teach me, and I am an eager learner. Barbara wrote several Bible studies and I hope to use those studies in my ministry to women, because they are amazingly written, but also because it will be a way for me to know her heart.

I'm surprised at the number of words I now have. Yesterday I could hardly talk about it.

The service is going to be at 2pm on Friday afternoon at Greenlake Presbyterian Church (6318 Linden Avenue North, Seattle, WA 98103-5659; (206) 789-7320)

The address for Phil Proctor (Barbara's husband) is: 14842 Wallingford Ave N, Shoreline, WA 98133.

Thanks again for your prayers and love for us,

Emily

Prayer Vigil Tonight

2010-07-28T10:42:00.004-05:00

I am exhausted today. We have 3 days left here before we make the trip back to the States. It has been a wonderful time and I have learned so much about so many things I did not expect to learn. (Spiritual warfare being the biggest one, I think.) Two nights ago I had another really rough night and was attacked again by the enemy, or "spooks" as some people here say. It was the same kind of thing that it was last time, dogs barking, bed shaking, and dark shadows swirling around the ceiling (I didn't mention that part of it the first time because I kind of thought I was imagining it or that it just wasn't real, but after seeing it the second time I know it was legit.) Yesterday was a long day of fighting off the shame and confusion that Satan wanted me be clouded by. At the end of the day DH and I spent a long time in prayer. I am beginning to see some strange connections to the spiritual warfare and strongholds in my life.

Isn't it funny how I thought I was supposed to come here to be the strong and able counselor for the people on the Rez, and here I am being taught a lesson in prayer (calling quickly on the name of Jesus like Much Afraid learned in Hinds Feet on High Places), a lesson in humility, a lesson in releasing my self sufficiency and human strength to wait on God, trust in Him and let Him do His work. Wow.

So, like I said, I'm pretty exhausted. We have plans to do an all night prayer vigil tonight at the church that will last until dinner tomorrow night. The structure of Jesus Church is actually quite symbolic of what we will be doing. The steeple is a pair of praying hands that leads up to the heavens and a cross is on the top. As we pray, I am confident that the forces of darkness will be against us.

Pray that God will bless the Medicine Men here with repentance; that any Medicine they throw our way will fall dead to the ground and that they will know that the God of Bible is the true Creator (we don't want those who curse us to be cursed, but rather to bless them, and we think that the greatest blessing they could be given is repentance from witchcraft)
Pray for greater faith and trust in the King
Pray that our time of prayer tonight through tomorrow will be refreshing and that God will hear our prayers and that the Holy Spirit would be clearly present with us as we pray.
We hope to meet with the Chief's son today. I can't say much but it seems that the Lord's hand is on this young man's life. He is not yet a believer, but seems to be open to the gospel. Pray for God's leading in our visit today, and especially that Jean and I might be able to establish a friendship with his "common law" wife

Pow-Wow Drum Circle

2010-07-25T09:49:00.005-05:00

The sound of a Pow-Wow drum accompanied by the wailing and screaming sounds of Native singers is a bit haunting, as well is should be. The Native practice of the drum is used to channel ancestor spirits to the drum. It's basically a form of ancestor worship. The words aren't really words as much as they are chants. The drum is a proud instrument, and in order for that part of Native Culture (aka spiritist religion) to be redeemed it must first be humbled.

For a sacred object in a demonic religion to be redeemed in order to be used in a Christian context, it must first be profaned. Profaning something takes away it's power or it's meaning, it's basically being irreverent towards something in a way that erases it's power. The Bible talks about how people have profaned the name of God over and over again, thereby denying His power in their own lives. This is sad, because God is the very one who we need to know the power and strength of. And a proud thing, like the drum, is what really needs to be profaned.

Remember when God says he opposes the proud, but he exalts the humble? That's what I'm talking about with the drum. Marcus, has taught me a lot about redeeming Native Culture. Before I came, I lived in the camp that says you can redeem anything in culture for God's use. But now that I understand there are a lot of things that are straight up demonic and therefore cannot be redeemed but rather, need to be renounced. Seems kind of harsh, I know, but we are talking about fighting against the principalities of the world here. I'm not interested in redeeming something that Satan wants to use to keep God's people in bondage.

Anyway, though this little concert from the Pow-Wow drum group was kind of cool to see, it also brought a lot of spiritual warfare to the team who was sleeping in the gym where they performed. In other words, the channeling of spirits worked. It is not anything to be trifled with.

One Week Left...Oh and I found a friend in Canada!

2010-07-25T08:50:00.003-05:00

The missions team who was here last week has all gone home. Last week is now somewhat of a blur. Yesterday ended up being a wonderful day of rest and recuperation for me. I slept in, went swimming with DH, we had a yummy Saturday brunch, then I got to go hang out with Maureen for the whole afternoon, when I got back home DH picked me up and took me on a wonderful date to a really good Greek Tavern in Wetaskiwin. After a day like that I kind of forgot about the Rez and all that is going on there....all the spiritual warfare seemed to not feel so acute, all the chaos of their lives was forgotten just for a day, and I felt like I could take a deep breath.

I have been afraid of not having any friends here - and I mean heart friends, kindred spirits, bosom sisters. Well, I do believe the Lord has answered that request already!! Maureen and Reed are a really cool couple in their late 40's who we met at the very beginning of our trip. She is a gifted intercessor and a very talented home interior decorator. She's got great hair and spunky glasses and is just so fun to be around. She's super hospitable and you can talk your face off with her for a few hours and not know all that time passed. We walked through a park in Leduc (pronounced Lah-duke), grabbed coffee, walked some more, and then spent some time praying together at their home. I am so thankful for Maureen. I feel that if and when the Lord gets DH and I back up here, she will be a friend I can go to for girl time and great spiritual encouragement. The above pic is from the first night we met Maureen and Reed.

My heart is greatly encouraged, which is good because I am tired. And I don't know that I have the strength to get to church today and face the chaos. But part of what the Lord is teaching me here is that it isn't me and it isn't my strength that He needs in order for His will to be done. He just needs my love for Him and my love for the Cree. I have been in awe of the Canola fields....bright yellow and delicious to look at. The other pic is of my beloved and me in one of those luscious fields.

Feeling Ill Prepared

2010-07-23T09:23:00.007-05:00

Daniel and I were up until 2 am talking and crying and praying about our hearts, fears, confusions, hopes, disappointments and many more things related to our future ministry, life in Wetaskiwin, and the dynamics of our own relationship. I have never felt so unprepared for ministry as I do right now. I knew, in sort of a far off, intellectual way, that ministry to First Nations would be hard. But being here for 12 days now has opened my eyes to just exactly how hard and why. This may sound like I don't want to do it, or that it's awful, or that I'm being dramatic, but that's not where my heart is. I am simply being realistic about the difficulty that lies before us. It is quite humbling to have worked with The Navigators and received some of the best ministry training there is out there over the course of four years, and then to attend Covenant Seminary where the teaching and community is incredibly solid, and then to come here and feel like everything that I've learned doesn't work here. Or at least I don't know how to integrate it all yet. (Hello, I've only been here for 12 days.)

It has felt like any idea I have had so far to connect with the women, or reach out to those who stay at home all day long, has fallen flat. Because the ideas that have worked with college students and with white women just aren't the right ideas for this setting and for these women. The idea of waiting for an open door is so essential in this ministry and if you force your way in you can actually get hurt here. Jean and I were hoping to make a second visit to a woman's home we went to earlier this week. When we walked into her kitchen she (who is around 85) and a few of her family members were doing a little Medicine ceremony at the kitchen table and we bopped in all friendly and Christian (and I, clueless). When we asked another older woman who is a Believer if she would come back with us to help translate, she said no. She also told us that we need to be careful to not force our way into a home like that because they could hurt us and we wouldn't even know it.

I have concerns and fears as well as joy and curiosity about living in a town with a population of 11-12,000. Who will our friends be? How will we find community here? There's also something simple about living in a small town. It's actually something I haven't experienced. I grew up in the country 15 min outside of a town big enough to have shopping and doctors and all the things you need in life. And then I've lived in big cities since then. (Even my college town had like 36-38,000 people in it.)

Please pray....

For DH and I to be blessed with "bosom friends" - people who we could both laugh so hard with we cry and then in the same interaction be able to talk about how we are growing in the Lord
Pray for a group of godly women for me and for a group of god fearing men for Daniel
For a team of 8 people to be here with us when we come. That means we need 5 other people to join us. Please plead with the Lord - the harvest is ripe but the laborers are few.
For unity and sweet connectedness in DH and my relationship - we still have much to learn about one another and my prayer is that God will unify our hearts even more than He has as we continue to grow together, learn more about one another, and prepare for ministry

PS - the bright yellow Canola fields and the HUGE skies with glorious billow-y clouds are my favorite things here so far. Every day, I either think or say, "AH!! Look at those clouds!!!"

A greater burden to pray for the Cree

2010-07-21T10:14:00.005-05:00

My heart was beating out of my chest as we climbed out of the 15 passenger van on the Cree Sundance grounds. We were instructed by Marcus that we could get out of the vans if we wanted but not to go any closer. We had just driven through a forrest of trees that had cloth offerings tied to them. It was an erie and haunting place to drive through. In Native Culture they believe that they must make offerings of cloth and tobacco to the trees surrounding the Sundance lodge in order to protect the sacred ground surrounding it. You would never see a cloth offering in a random forrest.

A cloth offering is very simply a rag that is wrapped around a tree trunk and tied in a knot with a couple feet of cloth left hanging down. Many of the trees had several different colored pieces of cloth tied around them. They call them "prints."

After driving through this forrest, we came into a clearing where we saw the Sundance lodge. There were actually 3 or 4 of them I think. One was the most prominent, and was built up with walls and branches and lots of cloth offerings hanging down. There was at least one place to do a sweat - it was just a little pod-like looking structure made from tree branches stuck in the ground and bent over to stick in the ground on the other side too. It is just big enough for one person to crawl inside and be wrapped up in the fetal position. This makes perfect sense because they believe that a sweat is being in Mother Nature's womb. They put hot rocks inside and pour water on them (it functions like a sauna) and do a sweat for purification.

The Sundance, however is a whole different activity. People will come once a year and do a sundance in order to see visions. They fast from water and food for three days and get themselves into a kind of trance. Marcus explained that they will hold a kind of rattle made from bone and fix their eyes on the center pole of the Sundance tent. (This center pole channels the thunderbird spirit. At the base of the pole are buffalo skulls, and at the top is a next-like structure called the spirit nest.) They bend their knees a little and sway up on their tip-toes and back down again while they shake the bone-rattle, for SIX HOURS. Imagine doing calf raises for SIX HOURS and the kind of pain you would experience. Now, imagine doing that with no food or water for three days, and having to fix your eyes in one place. Now, add the layer of demonic activity and essentially demonic control over a place like that and the people who subject themselves to it.

I couldn't help but cry as we stood at a safe distance away from the lodges. The various colors of cloth hanging from the beams of the structures and wrapped around the spirit nests were like ghosts. The people leave them there to keep praying for them when they are not there.

Late last week, I started praying that the Lord would give me the gift of the discernment of spirits. It seems that you kind of need that gift to be able to do well in a place like this. Although there is something kind of nice about being totally oblivious. The last few days I've had more courage to pray against Satan in the name of Jesus Christ whenever I feel a little "off." I'm not saying that every time you "feel funny" that there's something spiritual going on, however, I think the Lord is teaching me to pray boldly and with authority so if and when He blesses me with discernment of spirits I am ready to pray and speak the name of Christ.

Something weird happened last night, which is part of the practice God is giving me, I think. I was practically asleep when the neighbor's dog barked just once right outside my window. It woke me up and startled me a bit. I was a little bit scared and then I felt my bed shaking a little bit. It felt like it would if someone was sitting on a bed next to you and bouncing their foot on the floor or something. It was slight but very noticeable. And it seemed to be getting more intense. So I started praying and praying and praying, rebuking Satan and commanding him to be gone. And then I started praising Jesus for who He is. The shaking slowly stopped. And what darkness seemed to be filling my room slowly subsided and I was able to sleep.

The road to salvation for a Native is very very rough. They drive on mud roads on the Rez, and when it rains the roads are really bad to drive on. Even if they get grated they are like corduroy. As we drove around all of Hobbema last night on these rough roads all I could think of was how rough the road to Christ is for these dear people.

PLEASE keep praying with me. PLEASE pray for the release of demonic power on the Cree (and all First Nations people across the continent). PLEASE pray for God's glory to reign in our hearts and in this land.

(I'll try to post a few of DH's pics of the Sundance Lodge soon)

Three Treasures: Their names are Vernadee, Eva and Jean

2010-07-19T14:01:00.006-05:00

Vernadee is one of the most amazing women I have had the joy of meeting while in Hobbema. This picture was taken last Sunday morning while I prayed for her after church. She has endured trials that you cannot even imagine, and the Lord Jesus Christ has been her strength. Pray for Vernadee and her husband Daren as they both grief the loss of several family members and grow together in Christ as a couple. Just over the last week they started reading their Bibles together and praying together as a couple. This is HUGE! Pray that God keeps them close to His truth and protects them from the Evil one.

Eva is another testimony of God's transforming power. Jean and I sat with Eva for lunch yesterday and she shared with us many parts of her life story. You wouldn't know by looking at this sweet and kind face that Eva drives a big 'ol Dodge pick-up, used to hunt deer, elk, and fish when she and her child lived in the log cabin that she built by herself many years ago. This woman has learned to live the hard way and you wouldn't believe the kind of witchcraft she has been exposed to! But God has changed her and saved her from the darkness!

And now, Jean. Sweet Jean. This is the woman I've been talking about. She is my roommate, teammate and dear sister in the Lord. She has provided such inspiration to me while here. Every time we drive around the Reserve I just say, "Jean, tell me another story about your days on the Reserves." And she'll share some kind of profound way that God has used her to protect the Native children in Canada. She is such a joy and a blessing, and I am grateful to be learning from her!

Have you ever seen a double rainbow at 9:40 PM?

2010-07-16T22:41:00.004-05:00

Jean and I drove back to our little guest apartment, tuckered out from another wonderful day in Alberta. We (Marcus, DH, Jean and me) took a trip to Edmonton today and visited some friends on the way. After enjoying yummy food in Edmenton's China Town, our trip home was filled with a mini educated on some Cree language and Cree culture.

One thing I have learned which is very important to remember, is they use the term “culture” when talking about their traditional religion. If it wasn't for the glorious power of Jesus Christ, I would have been terrified at the explanations of their culture I was hearing. The Cree, along with most other Native tribes, have a creation story and a flood story. The way I am going to try to describe what I heard will most certainly be missing major details. So, please know that what I am learning about the culture (aka, religion) is a process. Jean and I hope to meet with a woman tomorrow who used to be a practicing Medicine Woman and is now a strong Believer to learn more.

So here goes...

The Flood Story: The Cree creator protected the his people from the flood by putting them in a box. After the flood, the waters turned to ice and the box landed on a mountain. The people were divided, and some went under the ice and were never seen again. Those who went over the ice are the ancestors of the Cree people.

Another Native Story: There were two hunters who saw a beautiful woman. One of them wanted to rape her and the other said, "No! Don't disrespect her like that!" But he went ahead and approached the woman anyway. When he did, she turned into a vapor and enveloped the man, and he turned into a skeleton right then and there. The woman became a White Buffalo and went to the other man and awarded him for respecting her. She gave him the secret of the Sweats.

The practice of sweats is a way for mankind to cleanse himself of all sins in order to be purified for when White Buffalo returns. White Buffalo is a sort of messiah figure to the traditional Cree. She is also referred to as Calf Woman.

There is something about a place called Turtle Island as well. Not too clear on the details of that, but it has something to do with Turtle going down into the ground to get dirt and staying there. Turtle's back then became North America. When White Buffalo returns, she will bring with her the first nations who inhabited Turtle Island in the beginning. (I think this might be why they prefer to be called “First Nations” rather than Native Americans. Plus, they were in fact the first nation to inhabit this continent!)

Is your head spinning? That doesn't even include all of the stuff about Mother Earth, sweetgrass, the trickster spirit (or Coyote), the backwards spirit, and the White Snake...

As Jean and I discussed how confusing and complicated Native religion is, our attention was turned to the beauty of the sunlight beaming underneath a huge storm cloud that has been sitting above Wetaskiwin the last two days. It was a glorious sight, and became even more beautiful when we looked the other way and saw a huge, clear rainbow! All the colors were in it, and it was as crisp as bright as you can imagine. If one rainbow wasn’t enough, we then saw a second one! Our marveling was turned entirely to God’s greatness and His promises to us (especially the promise that He will never again flood the earth). What a way to end the day!

Prayer Requests:

Tomorrow, a team of 30-35 people are coming from all over the states and Alberta to do a week long VBS for the kids. Pray for their protection and effectiveness,
Pray for DH to be able to find the materials he needs to teach a children’s sermon/lesson on Sunday morning,
Pray that Jean and I will be able to meet with Eva (the former Medicine Woman),
Pray that I will also get to spend some time with a woman named Ginny who was hoping to teach me how to make Bannock (Cree fry bread)

"If you don't rely on the Holy Spirit, you will burn out."

2010-07-15T11:33:00.003-05:00

My mornings are delightful here. Jean and I usually rouse ourselves, well ok, she gets up early and goes for a walk and then I wake up and we enjoy our morning coffee together. Just remember, that Jean is 80 years old. She is one of the most inspirational women I think I have ever known. There's not enough room to tell the countless stories of how this woman has changed the lives of children and women on the Canadian Reserves. Just the other morning, I asked her about how she handles going into a counseling situation where she doesn't know what to say or do for the person. I was inquiring about the tension between relying on the Holy Spirit and drawing on your education. She said to me, "If you don't rely on the the Holy Spirit, you will burn out. And the knowledge you have from your degree is like a flag waving in the background for when you draw a blank. It will help you, but you must first start with the guidance of the Spirit." I am learning how true her advice is after just one day of really being immersed in the Cree life.

So yesterday...we ended up a the Rec Center in Louis Bull Reserve. It's kind of a hang out for people. When we got there no one was around and then eventually it was filled with all kinds of people. Long story short, we ended up in a back room praying for a young mother of 7 who is probably depressed, addicted to alcohol, married to a man who is hooked on marijuana. And that's just the background stress in their lives. They have 7 kids, two of which are being fought over in a court case right now, he's out of work, their newest baby was 2 1/2 months premature, bills are piling up, and again, that's not even the worst of it. They know a family that does black magic and who is been in their home and in their car. Their home has been under severe spiritual attack. I won't even go into the stories they told us, but it is really intense, and very very real.

So we prayed with the wife for a long time and she cried and cried. Meanwhile, Marcus and another Native man (who is a believer) were outside talking to her husband sharing the gospel with him. It was a powerful time and God is at work. The wife said she "doesn't want to go the Indian way" but that she wants to go the way her brother is going, which is the Jesus way. Her husband comes from a family who is known for their powerful spirituality and so he is inclined to use Medicine (using things like burning sweetgrass, "smudging," going to "sweats," or going to see a Medicine Man) which carries such a huge amount of demonic power. Please pray for this couple, and especially the husband!! Marcus left him with this thought: "Suppose one of your elders decided to give you a nice new car and gave it to you as a gift, but you said, 'Naw, I think I'm gonna just go ahead and work really hard for myself to buy that rusted piece of metal over there.'" The man replied, "I would NEVER EVER EVER disrespect one of my elders in that way." Marcus challenged him by saying, "That is what you are doing to Creator, and His free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ."

So that was just the afternoon. A long and slow one. And yet, very thrilling!

Then in the evening, we went to an old woman's home who became a believer a long time ago (probably 30 yrs) for a Bible study. It was a group of older Natives who have been walking with Jesus for a while. The great treasure was to hear them speak in Cree for a long time. They told each other stories about the griefs that they have born throughout their lives here. We even got to hear the hostess read Romans 12:1-2 in Cree from her Cree Bible!! It was riveting. There was even a grown man who was weeping, no, sobbing over his grief for the loss of his mother and two of his children over the last 2 years. Such pain, such grief. It was incredible to see the Spirit at work protecting us and giving us sweet fellowship. We spent 4 1/2 hours there.

God is at work in this place. It's wild. And it is intense. The pace is much slower, which at first was a little hard for me, but then DH reminded me that there is so much energy we have to put forth towards persevering that we need not spend our energy on filling up our schedules. So true. I learned the lesson of being willing to wait yesterday at the Rec Center. Had we left when we felt like nothing was going on, we would have missed an opportunity. Had we forced conversation to go somewhere significant, it wouldn't have happened.

I am also seeing the great difference between the nature of spiritual warfare as it truly is and how we think it is in America. We are often oblivious or purposefully ignorant of the forces of darkness around us. But in a traditional Native environment, when so much of their culture is saturated in spiritual forces it is hard to miss. (Culture as they define it is strictly their Native Religion...so when they talk about culture they aren't referring to music and art, but rather, Medicine and Indian religion.) They are well acquainted with how the devil works because of the witchcraft they grew up being taught how to use. They are very familiar with the fact that there is a spiritual realm with demons and angels because they will very often see and hear spirits. So when someone comes to faith in Christ, it is hugely important that they understand the amazing power and authority that Jesus Christ has over all darkness and over all creation. These Cree Believers are amazing people and I can only imagine how much I'm going to be able to learn from them.

I think my heart is beginning to be won over by these people. I only wish I had pictures to show you. Keep praying for a miracle with my camera.

Indian Time

2010-07-13T09:09:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we met a Canadian couple (who are not Natives) that encouraged the socks off of us. We had a really long time of prayer in which the Lord was vibrantly present and powerful things were prayed. It is almost too intense to describe, but I am praising God for Maureen and Reed.

Today is a big question mark for us. Since the Cree are so unpredictable, so unreliable and so hard to track down, you can really never schedule your day or your week. Often times, I am learning, it is the most effective to just drive to their trailer to see them. But even then, you don't really know what you are going to get. When Marcus has scheduled events he often feels very discouraged because no one shows up when they said they would. This is what I'm learning is called "Indian Time." Things happen when they happen, and you never know when it will be.

This is very non-American and since I am a J on the Myers-Briggs personality scale, I am going to have to remember the rule of flexibility that I have learned in various other ministry locations. I'm very up for the challenge.

The grief on the reserve is palpable. The people have all faced tragedies, early deaths in their families, gossip, betrayal, relational turmoil, gang threats, alcohol addictions, and their many consequences. When you talk to a person here, they tend to dump information on you about their life, and then they wait and see how you will respond. They are so used to being hurt that they hurt themselves and hurt others, with the hope against hope that somehow they will not be abandoned or rejected yet again.

There is a team coming at the end of this week to do a week of VBS for the kids. We hope they will bring a great amount of help and encouragement to this church and this place. Pray for the chance for Jean and I to connect with the moms of the kiddos.

By the way, Jean is a total God-send. She is the kind of woman that I hope to be when I am 80 years old. She is godly, full of life and wisdom, is just a firecracker, and understands how the heart works. I am praising God for her every moment!

Day 1 - Camera Stolen

2010-07-11T20:02:00.004-05:00

I'm too exhausted to write much more than I did this morning, but wanted to ask for prayer for something somewhat silly....my camera was stolen today out of my purse at church. Pray that somehow the Lord brings justice and convicts the person who stole it, and that it is returned to me by next Sunday.

I didn't expect to encounter culture shock in Canada, but I think this might be something that is gonna bring it about.

I keep being reminded of a passage we had to memorize for our Intro to Counseling final like 2 years ago....Romans 8:18-25

[Future Glory] [18] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. [19] For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. [20] For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope [21] that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. [22] For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. [23] And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. [24] For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? [25] But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. (Romans 8:18-25 ESV)

"You're staying in Wetaskiwin the whole time?"

2010-07-11T10:26:00.011-05:00

Daniel and I careened our necks to watch and wonder at the power of God displayed in a lightning storm from above. Alberta's horizon was lit up with lightening on one side and a permanent sunset on the other. The sun was still setting at midnight and then came up again around 4 am. I am already a little mystified by this place!

After a short night of sleep, I am enjoying a cup of coffee and waiting for a ride to church. Every Sunday at Jesus Church there are vans that drive from Edmonton and Calgary around the Rez (nic-name for Reserve, which is what Americans refer to as Reservation) to pick up people for the service. We are staying in a little town called Wetaskiwin. So little, that the woman at customs was a little suspicious when we told her we were spending 21 days in her country, and all of them in Wetaskiwin.

My "roommate" and mentor for the month, Jean, is from Calgary, and will be arriving tomorrow, I think. I am very eager to meet her and get to know her. She is a seasoned counselor, and I am looking forward to picking her brain and learning all that I can from her!

On a different note, when Marcus and Daniel dropped me off last night, Marcus's last words were, "The place has been pretty clean spiritually, so you should be ok." To which I said, "Praise the Lord!" As I settled in and made up the hide-a-bed, thoughts of being alone came running into my mind. In the past, the enemy has often attacked my sense of security and protection by pointing out moments of being alone and trying to make me despair. The thought actually went through my head, "So, being here with my fiancee actually means that I'm here all by myself." (Not true, and yet the thought was there.) Then, I had a horrible dream that Daniel broke up with me and our relationship was over for no reason at all. Not the kind of thought you want to wake up to in the middle of nowhere Canada at the very outset of a three week trip, right? Pray for the spiritual realm and for God's hedge of protection over my mind.

Totally not trying to be too paranoid, but I'm fully aware that I'm in a very different environment and crazy spiritual things happen here.

Seattle in July

2010-07-09T14:23:00.004-05:00

After a week of quality family time, Daniel and I are making our final arrangements to head up north tomorrow morning. We will have a long day of travel including a 6 hour layover in Minneapolis during which we hope to attend Bethlehem Baptist Church (where John Piper ministers).

These photos show Daniel with his brother Nathan and Grandma Betty making Wantons (yummy Wanton feast with broth and and an Asian salad). DH and I took a romantic ferry ride from the Seattle shore to Bremerton where we enjoyed fish and chips with one of my favorite beers (Chimay....try it!!). Another photo with Daniel and his siblings with their Mom (my future mother-in-law Barbara) who is battling with cancer (both colon and pancreatic cancer). DH and I are bundled up with nieces on the Forth of July! It was cold, but beautiful! And finally, a shot of a typical evening meal with family.

One night this week, I cooked for the entire family (15 people!), and thankfully the two kinds of lasagna I made turned out wonderfully! Phew!!If you are curious about the recipes, check them out at epicurious.com:

Lasagna Bolognese with Spinach

Vegetable Lasagna

As you can imagine the last week has been filled with a myriad of emotions...visiting family and wrestling through the confusion and sadness of a sick Mom, only 6 weeks of engagement left, an upcoming 3 weeks in Canada, and then 3 weeks before marriage! We are in great need of prayer for emotional strength as well as awareness of our hearts.

Engagement pics on Facebook

2010-07-04T10:29:00.002-05:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=184375&id=515076379&l=f2eb589142

Prayer Request from Marcus

2010-07-04T10:11:00.001-05:00

This is the most recent prayer request sent out by Marcus Toole, the pastor at Jesus Church in Hobbema, Canada where Daniel and I will be in one week. Please join us in praying for him....

Greetings All:

I’m back from general assembly. It was a great time. I do have an urgent prayer request. My understanding is that there are some folks in the Samson tribal government who would like to shut the radio station down so that its budget can be redirected to other things. The radio station has become a tremendous outlet for the gospel. Please pray that the radio station keeps going and continues to be a vehicle for preaching the gospel. Once again, it’s sundance season. This is the time of year for really big spiritual attacks. Pray that the Lord protects the Muskwachees Radio Station from attack. Thanks and God bless.

Marcus

Keeping In Touch on our Canadian Adventure!

2010-06-30T16:34:00.003-05:00

I hope to keep you all informed about how to pray for us while in Canada from July 10-31, as well as what the Lord is doing in our midst on the trip.

Praise the Lord with us that we got fully funded for the trip!! God is so gracious to give us what we need. Thank you to everyone who so generously gave.

This Saturday, DH and I will be going to Seattle to spend a week with family. Pray for a sweet time of connection and that good memories will be made. We are looking forward to this time, but go with somewhat heavy hearts. His mother, Barbara is quite sick with cancer and we wanted to spend some time with her before our time in Canada. Pray for emotional strength and that God will be glorified during our visit.

As for prayer for the preparations for Canada....there is a great amount of spiritual warfare that takes place on Reservations (they call them Reserves in Canada). Right now, there is a sundance going on which is historically brought a lot of attack to the Bible teaching churches in Hobbema (That is where we will be). Pray for God's people to be covered by the protective blood of Christ. Pray for Daniel and me as we head into a potentially dark situation.

Pray for Jean - she is the woman I will be working side by side with as counselors. She has 40 years of experience doing family and sexual abuse counseling on the Canadian Reserves. She will be a great asset to me and a woman to learn a great deal from. She's also 80 years old, so she is no doubt a very wise woman.

That's all for now...

To Canada!

2010-06-30T16:22:00.006-05:00

Dear Friends,

After a six month courtship, Daniel Henry asked me to marry him on May 1, just two days before my birthday. I accepted his proposal with all of my heart! On August 20, 2010 I will have the joy and delight of marrying him. I will be Mrs. Henry! He is truly a gift from the Lord and an answer to many of my life-long prayers. We met at Covenant Seminary in the fall of 2008 and became friends over our common love for swing dancing. During his time pursuing a Masters of Divinity, Daniel developed an interest in working with Native Americans. It wasnʼt until a year later that he discovered I also shared a heart for cross-cultural ministry to the marginalized. Daniel has since been accepted and called to work with the Cree people in Alberta, Canada. Amazingly, there is a deep need for counselors there as well.

Before we get married, it will be very important for me to get a glimpse of what life and ministry will be like there. An inc

redible opportunity has presented itself to me to do a three week counseling internship on the Reserve in Alberta from July 10-31, 2010. I will join a woman who has forty years of experience counseling women on the Canadian Reserve. She will serve as my Supervisor and the hours I spend counseling will count toward my degree. It is absolutely thrilling to be able to use my gifts and the skills God has given me to bless the Cree women. For Daniel, this trip will serve as a time of reconnection with the Cree. He will spend his time pastoring the children at the church he worked for two summers ago.

Though this is a short term trip, it is our desire to spend two more years in Canada after I graduate with the hope of ultimately settling down on a Reservation in the United States where Daniel hopes to pastor a church, and I hope to be a counselor. For now, I would like to humbly, and boldly ask you to pray about joining me on this adventure. The trip is coming very soon, which creates a need to prepare quickly. If the Lord leads you to give, please send your gifts to Mission to the World by July 1, 2010.

In Christ,

Emily Christensen

Cost of Travel (estimated) $1000

Food, Lodging, Transportation, On-ﬁeld set-up $1150

Administrative Costs (Insurance, Training

Materials, etc.) $554

Total Cost $2704

Make checks out to MTW with “Emily Christensen #11348” on the memo line OR go to www.mtw.org/donations. Click on “donate now,” type in “Christensen, Emily” and follow instructions to donate!

I cried in class today...

2008-09-03T12:01:00.007-05:00

Thank you Dr. Zink and Tracy Chapman for allowing me to cry in class today. Timing is everything, and the fact that we happened to talk about the heart in my Marriage and Family Counseling class today was God's goodness and sovereignty. I am a woman who feels deeply in every category of life. When I feel pain and hurt, I feel it intensely. When I feel joy, it is complete and contageous.

Today when Dr. Zink played Tracy Chapman's "Remember the Tinman" I was given permission by her sad voice, thoughtful picking of her guitar, and the very insightful lyrics to ask myself some of the questions in her song. I am quieted and stirred at the same time. I am thankful that the LORD promises He is near the brokenhearted.

If we are all honest with ourselves, I think we would recognize the hurt in our hearts that we just live with every day but ignore because, well, it hurts to think about it. My dad always tells me to guard my heart and every once in a while I'll just get a text message from him that says "GYH". I love that my earthly Father has a desire to see my heart be protected from what Tracy sings of, and I love even more that my heavenly Father makes a way for our hearts to be healed when they are hurt. For we live in a fallen world and we sin against each other, hurt is inevitable. Pain is inescapable. And yet, we have a great Father who is our Healer, our Shepherd, our Protector. And we have the confidence that in the end, He will reign over the one who seeks to kill and destroy us.

But praise be to God who loves us enough to change our broken hearts, our broken spirits, and our broken souls and do something so outrageous to bring us back to Him. In chapel the other day I was reminded that it is His kindness that leads us to repentence. His kindness that woos me into His sovereign and strong arms.

"Remember The Tinman" lyrics

There are locks on the doors
And chains stretched across all the entries to the inside
There's a gate and a fence
And bars to protect from only God knows what lurks outside
Who stole your heart left you with a space
That no one and nothing can fill
Who stole your heart who took it away
Knowing that without it you can't live
Who took away the part so essential to the whole
Left you a hollow body
Skin and bone
What robber what thief who stole your heart and the key
Who stole your heart
The smile from your face
The innocence the light from your eyes
Who stole your heart or did you give it away
And if so then when and why
Who took away the part so essential to the whole
Left you a hollow body
Skin and bone
What robber what thief
Who stole your heart and the key
Now all sentiment is gone
Now you have no trust in no one
Who stole your heart
Did you know but forget the method and moment in time
Was it a trickster using mirrors and sleight of hand
A strong elixir or a potion that you drank
Who hurt your heart
Bruised it in a place
That no one and nothing can heal
You've gone to wizards, princes and magic men
You've gone to witches, the good the bad the indifferent
But still all sentiment is gone
But still you have no trust in no one
If you can tear down the walls
Throw your armor away remove all roadblocks barricades
If you can forget there are bandits and dragons to slay
And don't forget that you defend an empty space
And remember the tinman
Found he had what he thought he lacked
Remember the tinman
Go find your hear and take it back
Who stole your heart
Maybe no one can say
One day you will find it I pray

Laughter is the Best Medicine

2008-08-24T23:02:00.010-05:00

From the first moment, laughter has characterized my interactions with the new friends I've made at seminary. Whether we are playing a game of Taboo, sitting around talking, enjoying a beer at a local pub, or cheering at a Cardinals game, one thing is consistent....belly laughter. I'll never forget riding in a car with 4 perfect strangers (pictured on the right) to the Concert on the Levee to see One Republic and fireworks by the Arch and becoming friends through laughter. I had only known these people maybe 25 min of my life and yet we were roaring with laughter as we shared stories about our lives.

My dearest new soul sister here in St Louis is such a joy and blessing my my life because she and I laugh heartily about nearly everything, ok actually everything. Sara Frances and I share a love for laughter and also share in the opinion that 80% of the things that happen throughout the day are absolutely hysterical. What an answer to prayer to have such a like hearted friend in a new place so soon!

This community not only loves the LORD with depth and passion, but we love to laugh.....Classes start in 4 days, and I have made countless memories in a community of people seeking to serve Jesus, grow in Him, and love others.

God is so good! He knows that for His daughter laughter is indeed the best medicine as I transition in a new place and sort through the expectations I have of what my new season of life will be. Laughter is good for my broken heart and sinful heart, and good for my heart that is simultaneously full of life and thankfulness. The medicine it brings is something unlike any other drug or salve. I always sleep well at night after I've had a good belly life - either at myself or with others, and I will sleep very very well tonight.

Hello post-card readers!!

2008-08-03T13:28:00.004-05:00

Thanks for visiting my blog! If you just got my most recent post-card you are probably here to read the whole story of how God led me to leave staff with The Navigators and go to Seminary to puruse a MA in Counseling.....well.....here ya go:

To see pics of the campus click here

To read the story of how God called me to go back to school, read the story here

To see fun pics at the St Louis Zoo, click here

And to check out the home that God provided for me with the Tates, click here

Much love and blessing to you all!

Call to Prayer

2008-08-03T13:26:00.003-05:00

I've been in St Louis now for just about one month and I love it! I'm making new friends quickly, I love the Tates - the family I'm living with, I found a church I feel at home in, and I'm eager to begin classes in just a few short weeks. The one missing piece is a part-time job.

Over the last 3 weeks I have searched, interviewed, asked, networked, dropped off my resume, applied...and I've had several very ridiculous interviews. But to no avail. In the most recent one (which I was recruited for) I left part the way through the interview and simply told them that it wasn't going to be a good fit for me to sell life insurance to union workers while in grad school. What a joke!

I've looked into almost everything you can think of. I still have a few more ideas up my sleeve, but I covet your prayers as I continue to wait on God's timing to provide for this need. When I look at my budget, and the calendar, and upcoming expenses like ya know, books, and a new drivers license, and new tires for my car (because there's winter here!!), etc.....it's tempting to become anxious.

It's funny, I thought that when I stopped fundraising I wouldn't have to still trust God for financial provision in the same way, and here I am still feeling some of the same things I have every summer for the last four years with regard to money. Bottom line is, I rest in the fact that we serve a Sovereign God and He has a plan and will continue to provide for me! But I also believe in the power of prayer when God's kids come together in unity to ask Him for something.

It's STILL Emily's Blog....Don't worry.

2008-07-04T12:59:00.003-05:00

I decided to give my blog a new and fresh look with this new and fresh season of life I'm entering into......don't panic!! It's still me! :-)

Thanks to all of you who faithfully follow my life via the internet.

I'm moving to St Louis on Sunday July 6 with my friend Sharon Denny - what a gift my friends are to me. Yesterday my best friend Meredith and her husband Ben had a 10 hour layover in Phoenix on their way home from Nepal. What a precious gift to have a dear sister here during a busy and emotional time. Today, another best friend, Joni decided to buy a plane ticket to come and help me pack and give me lots of hugs. Yet again, the LORD knows my needs and is choosing to meet them in unbelievable ways.

Can't wait to have more things to boast in our LORD about.....I'm sure sooner than later.

I'm Goin to The Lou

2008-06-21T11:53:00.004-05:00

This is my future home!! At least for a little while. I visited St Louis last weeked, had an interview with my future professor and met several of the admissions folks at Covenant and fell in love with the place. It's amazing how when God leads us and we take steps of faith to follow Him in trust and obedience, how He blesses and blesses and blesses. One of my favorite passages of scripture is Deuteronomy 28 that highlights the blessings from God when we obey Him vs the curses when we disobey.

Throughout my lifetime God has given me a heart that fears Him and longs to walk closely with Him. This new step in my ministry and development is a part of that commitment! Check out the campus and how pretty it is!!

For the whole story about how God led me to go back to school for Counseling.....check out my post Yes LORD, Fill in the Blank

Yes LORD, Fill in the Blank

2008-05-07T21:02:00.004-05:00

When I was a sophomore in college I attended a Navigator conference that gave me my motto: “Yes Lord….fill in the blank.” Whatever the Lord asked of me, the answer was yes. He just needed to fill me in when the time was right. Since then, my decision to obey has followed me through trials and joys.

The first trial was to seek out an estranged friend. I had avoided this, but the Lord wouldn’t let me! I was compelled despite the difficulty of reconnecting. We met and were able to reconcile our relationship. It was a test of faithfulness to follow through on my commitment to God though it risked my heart.

The next test came years later through the opportunity of EDGE Corps. I was in a sense blind when I decided to “give my life away for the sake of the gospel” in an unknown location. What an adventure! It was my first “Yes” to the Lord with regard to my career. When I was assigned to minister at Arizona State University I was excited to leave the Mid-West and see what God was doing elsewhere.

I arrived at ASU with a lot of excitement and a lot of issues. A long road lay ahead on which the Lord would “hedge up my way” and “draw me out into the desert to speak tenderly to me.” (Hosea 2) During my first year in the desert I was set free from performing the tap dance I did to please others. I was released from codependency. I let go of masks I had carried for so many years. And I began to recognize my own voice. It was in the desert that I learned my identity.

Before freedom came, I needed help. I’ll never forget the day I realized my exhaustion. It was on a Monday morning staff meeting in November 2004. Mike, my director, played a video of a plenary session from the national 2003 Nav staff conference. The speaker was a stranger to me, a man wearing a purple shirt, pacing on a stage, and giving me a language for the things I didn’t even realize I needed a language for! I was given words for dynamics in my relationship with Jesus–

"I’m so tired."
"God we are going to be close now!"
"I’m fine."
"Fixing my sin isn’t working anymore."

I knew that I had been losing my sense of self-worth and that I was so tired of striving to fix my sin in order to be close with Jesus. I had no idea that the man in the purple shirt, John Lynch and his colleagues Bill Thrall and Bruce McNicol would become personal friends and heroes in my life over the next three years.

One of my EDGE Corps buddies had been talking about a counselor in Tucson that did intensive counseling retreats. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I needed it. In December 2004 my life and my heart changed from my first experience of professional Christian counseling. I left exhausted and emotionally spent, but with a new sense of freedom because God had used this counselor to reveal deep things I couldn’t reach on my own. It was as if I had been running into a brick wall until someone else asked the right questions and filtered my story through a gentle sieve to let the excess run through and see what remained.

All the while I was learning how to disciple young women as my vocation and loving it. Relating deeply with others has always come easily and I found students felt at ease sharing with me. In my discipleship relationships over the last four years women have often said, “Emily, I’ve never told anyone this before…” God has given me the ability to ask questions, the skill of listening, and intuition developed through maturity. These have all been clues of the next adventure on the horizon. God just hadn’t filled in the blank yet.

After I completed EDGE Corps, I was invited to remain at ASU for Staff in Training. I was delighted. As my second year of SIT has come and quickly drawn to a close the question I’ve been asking of myself and others is, “What are you going to do next year?” In the fall of ’07 I sensed that I would be leaving ASU and heading to a new campus with a new team. Since then it’s been clear the Lord had other things in mind. There wasn’t really a place for a new team with a single staff woman at my level of experience. But, I trusted the Lord.

Every year, for four years people have asked me, “So do you think that ministry is what you will do for the long term?” My response has always been, “Yep! Unless the Lord leads otherwise, this is what I’ll do!” It wasn’t until December 2007 that I began articulating that if I were to ever do something different, I would become a counselor. Ironically enough, the Lord was beginning to lead…

While house sitting for friends in November 2007, I was thinking through the things God has taught me over the years, the story He’s written for my life. It was as if I heard the LORD say, “What if you used your story to usher others into freedom? What if you created a safe place to let women talk about their struggles?” I was stunned and intrigued. It was an opportunity to give to a group of women at ASU what I longed to have when I was a student. My dream to have a ministry that reflects Isaiah 61:1-4 was about to come true in a very special context.

This Bible study has been a tool in my life to open my eyes to my gifting and passion to see women step into freedom and healing. Over the course of the semester I realized that this is what I am made for!

As a result, I’ve prayed a great deal about my future. The logical direction is that I would be a women’s director or trainer. I have asked myself, “Do I want to be an older single staff woman who is the women’s director on a campus for the next ten years?” While conferring with Sue Jones, a faithful friend and mentor, I actually expressed this strain in my desires for my career for the first time aloud. I was actually able to answer my own question, and to my surprise, the answer was no. I love discipling women, I love the vision of The Navigators, I love leading Bible studies and pouring into the next generation. I have enjoyed every moment of my experience with The Navigators, so it was shocking to me to realize that I wasn’t excited to take that next logical step. So what was God doing?

Over lunch with my dear friend Grace Thrall, I expressed unforgiveness against someone I had been recently hurt by. We discussed a principle of grace related to forgiveness I had just been learning about. That day I was able to forgive and allow the power of the blood of Jesus to cleanse me from the sin done against me. What happened in the Heavens because of my forgiveness set the ball in motion the very next day.

In four days I had seven conversations with people to process my thoughts. A mentor, a boss, my parents, a counseling student, my brother, an old college roommate, and the Lord were my “multitude of counselors” during those four days. The feedback I received helped me to clarify my decision. At that point I knew I was to go back to school to seek a Masters in Counseling.

The prophet Isaiah tells of a man who clearly apprehends his sinfulness and cries out to God for help. He is cleansed and made new. Immediately God calls out for someone to go for Him and this man, in his new freedom and health stands and says, “Here am I. Send me.” I have been cleansed and made new over the last four years and God is now releasing me into my destiny.

My friend John Lynch explained an image in that fateful video three years ago. Jesus is a conductor at a train station with a ticket for you. But you have to be ready to take it and get on the train. Only those who have learned to let go of their masks and humbly trust God with their identity are ready for their ticket. Those who have learned to give and receive love, repent, and forgive are ready to be released into their destiny – the place they were made to live and dispense grace to others. It’s like a butterfly who was once a caterpillar. It always had the butterfly within, but a chrysalis was necessary for time to grow, change, and transform into what was already true about it.

I believe I’m at the train station now. The ticket is extended and I am ready to go and do what I was made for. The Navigators has groomed me for this next season of my life, though I thought God had filled in the blank once and for all with this career. But there is a new blank to be filled and I cannot deny His swift and strong leading. The decision to pursue a Masters in Counseling is clearly the direction God is leading and doors are being opened for me to attend a seminary to equip me with this degree in the Fall ’08. I’m overwhelmed by the times and ways of our Heavenly Father. The next step, step onto the train!

Favorite Places in Phoenix

2008-04-30T10:38:00.003-05:00

This is a work in progress....And it includes all kinds of places....coffee shops, resturants, hotels, salons, shops, hide-aways...

1) My Florist
2) Lux Coffee
3) Cartel's Coffee Lab
4) Sauce
5) La Grande Orange
6) Royal Palms Hotel
7) Gainey Ranch
8) Pizzaria Bianco
9) Time Out Lounge
10) Salon 7
11) Canaan in the Desert
12) C4
13) Pita Jungle
14) Steve's Espresso
15) Guadalupe Farmer's Market
16) Jewelry by Gautheir
17) Lush
18) My backyard
19)...

Things That Make Me Cry Tears of Joy

2008-04-09T13:59:00.002-05:00

Today I got an email from this lovely lady, Sarah Short. She's been on our staff team at ASU for two years and I've been discipling her for the last year. We have been working on a Bible study about discipleship and the following is one of the questions in the study and Sarah's answer. She wanted me to know how she answered the question and I was unbeleivably blessed! Check this out:

"Think about someone who has significantly helped you grow in your faith. What would you say were the things which characterized his/ her relationship with you? What did they model that you found most helpful to you?"

Before coming on staff with The Navigators, I had never been discipled or individually invested in by another believer. Moving to Tempe, I came with the mindset that I didn’t need anything from anyone and that I would be just fine learning all that I needed from God alone; sure, people would influence me, but I didn’t see that being discipled had a place in my own life. However, I would come to realize that all of my defenses and self-protection were hindrances to my growth. Discipleship entered the picture. During my second year on Edge, I’ve been meeting with Emily Christensen, and God has used her to shed light on dark, hidden places within my heart. I realized that, if my life is to be poured out to others, I have to allow people into the deep areas so I can minister out of healing. If healing never comes, then my ministry is crippled and my outpour runs dry. For a year, she was a friend and fellow laborer, and I think that time allowed me to grow to trust her before we began a discipleship relationship. She was honest with me about some of her own struggles and modeled a passion for ministry that was contagious. So, this year, we’ve sat in numerous coffee shops where I’ve cried and exposed the secret and shameful places of my own heart. She has this way of asking me questions that make me cry in public. Honestly, though, Emily has been a champion of freedom for many women, myself included. She has pushed me to believe who God says I am and to walk wholly in that identity. She has asked the hard questions that I have too long been afraid to ask myself about core lies, past brokenness, commitments to masks, and the process of letting go. She has been firm in her own commitment to the truth she so desperately longs for women to believe, and she speaks this truth with tender affirmation and clarity. Nobody has ever come alongside me the way Emily has, and nobody has ever been so committed to walking with me through broken areas in this way before. And, to be honest, I had never allowed anybody to have such a voice into my life before, but its been a sweet, freeing friendship. I am eternally grateful for Emily and her honesty, insight, and faithfulness; she has given me a deeper understanding of what it looks like to live and minister out of grace and to allow for vulnerability—-to let down the guard of self-protection and walk into sweet, grace-filled relationships confident that God does meet all of my needs. I am learning, through times with Emily, what it looks like to minister out of healing and freedom.

"B Flat-ulent"

2008-02-22T10:42:00.001-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYhbGBAdZJg

my side hurts from laughing so hard.

I love Phoenix in the Springtime

2008-02-20T12:04:00.002-06:00

Check out the beauty of my backyard.....

click HERE to see more of the gorgeosity of the spring in AZ. (yes, I made up that word)

False Pretense or Truth?

2008-02-19T19:54:00.004-06:00

College campuses are often scattered with traveling street preachers. They always stir things up because they are talking about the Bible, Jesus, sin, Heaven and Hell. Sometimes they even have huge signs with all kinds of words describing particular sins that they somehow deam as really bad, saying things like "Sinners go to hell."

I have observed that ASU students are open to discussing spiritual matters, but I have never seen a student happily let a stranger point a finger in their face and tell them they are going to hell.

On this particular Friday afternoon, I stood in a small crowd and listened to this man talk about the roles of men and women, according to the Bible. To my shock, he had good things to say. He was a bit long winded and many of the students surrounding him scoffed and argued, but I couldn't help my knod my head in agreement to some of the things he taught.

As you can tell the student in the white t-shirt wasn't a fan. His sign reads, "Let's make a deal. You stop preaching at my school, and I'll stop thinking in your church." He was the first to argue, the first to disagree, the first to ask unanswerable, circular questions.

Every time I see a street preacher like this I always go back to what Paul says in Philippians 1...

"Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice."

Week One: Day Eight (SALT Retreat)

2008-01-21T14:23:00.000-06:00

There are eight days in a week, right?

Philippians 2:17 says, "But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you." Most people don't believe me when I tell them that I'm an introvert. But as gregarious and outgoing as I can be when around people, I am completely spent after a full weekend with our leadership team. When the time is done I pretty much end up feeling like a balloon whose air has been released. I'm a little limp, a little stretched out, but also ready to be filled back up again. A balloon is meant to be filled - and I am meant to give my life away for the sake of the Gospel. So today, I will take a nap, I might read a book, I'll go the gym and get a good hard workout in, and I'll get ready for tomorrow, for tomorrow is a new day. Praise the LORD that His mercies are new every morning!

Week One: Day Seven (SALT Retreat)

2008-01-20T23:05:00.000-06:00

Between meetings, Heather, Jodi, Kristina, Debbie and Patricia were hanging out on the couch talking.

Josh M and Ryan practicing their guitars for worship.

Today was a packed day...so packed I didn't really get to take many photos. When you start the day off with some worship songs and time meditating on the Scriptures, you are good to go! We made our way through a couple more planning meetings, covering topics like "What does it mean to disciple someone?" and "How to let God be your Bible Study leader when you are the leader." We also made plans for recruiting new friends to be a part of SALT (Servant and Leadership Team).

We ended the night with maditory fun. It was an exciting Tournament of Golf....the card game. Prizes were awarded to those with the low scores and because there was a ridiculously high score we gave a prize for that as well (179 points....woah).

Everyone went home pretty tired to rest up for the last morning of the retreat.

Week One: Day Six (SALT Retreat)

2008-01-20T00:14:00.000-06:00

This is what happens when you put 25 college leaders of a campus ministry in a house for hours and hours for planning and prayer meetings and then let them have a long break before dinner.........

Week One: Day Five

2008-01-18T23:22:00.000-06:00

Meet Princess Toaster. She was born on Friday, January 18, 2007 at 5:17 pm. She was created as a peace offering to mend the broken hearts caused by the war that broke out that afternoon. Two condos filled with Nav women waged war against each other. There were flying metal objects. (aka....an awning shoved from one patio to the other was what caused the conflict). There were screams. There were shrieks. There were granades thrown across the wall of dischord that divided them (aka...lobbing lemons across the cinder-block wall that separated the two patios). It was a mighty battle indeed.

As a result, a peace offering was the only means to mend what was broken. Dah dah dahhhhhh....PRINCESS TOASTER!!

(I love my job)

Week One: Day Four

2008-01-17T23:49:00.000-06:00

So begins the craziness of a traveling woman's life......

Today I boarded another plane to California for NavWest....A bi-weekly training extravaganza with other young staff in the Sunland Region (So-Cal and AZ).

In the midst of our discusssion about the Sovereignty of God, we realized that it really is impossible to study such a topic without also studying His goodness, wisdom and love. The quality of sovereignty alone in an all powerful God is actually pretty scary to think about. But when you marry it with goodness, that changes everything.

God's soveignty is something that He has been showing me over the last several months. I read a book called "Trusting God" by Jerry Bridges and it changed my life. If you read back in my blog (see post: It's Riding in Planes and Encountering Undesirable Men that Challenge My Belief in the Sovereignty of God or post: Pulgging My Ears) you'll see that I haven't always had an easy time understanding this particular characteristic of the LORD.

But at the end of a hard day, or in the midst of a moment when life's disappointing and inexplicable circumstances trouble me, God's sovereignty is the very thing that allows me to live in the present knowing that He has a plan for my life. It is the characteristic in my Savior that allows for me to trust Him.

Week One: Day Three

2008-01-16T17:11:00.000-06:00

Go Team ASU!!

Prayer walks took on a whole new meaning this morning as we hiked "A" Mountain and looked out over the entire campus to pray. One of the many great things about Phoenix is that when you get up even a little higher than the streets you can see pretty much the entire valley. It was a brisk walk up the mountain today and always fun to look out at our "office" - aka ASU's campus.

This is the best looking women's staff in the wild-west! Today, after huffing and puffing our way down "A" Mountain, the women went to Dragonfly for Pho (pronounced "fuh") - Vietnamese Beef Noodle soup. Mmmm, yummy! Anyway - with all of the women we love to have in Bible study each semester, we needed to hash out a plan for who would be leading, what nights each study will meet, straighten out all kinds of details, and answer each others questions.

I think someone must have been praying for ASU today because we had an awesome meeting and were able to cover lots of ground. This Friday night we launch all our new Bible Studies for the semester. Please pray for open and flexible schedules! Above all, pray that God would be glorified and that young women's hearts would be changed and drawn closer to Jesus.

Week One: Day Two

2008-01-15T16:28:00.000-06:00

Philippians 3 and Hebrews 12:1-3 were the focus of our time alone with God today. I felt a slowness in my heart to approach God today. It wasn't like yesterday. But the LORD had some things to say to me that needed a more quieted heart.

An exceprt my my journal:

"Nothing is as good as knowing Christ. Nothing matters more. Can I actually say that I count all things as rubbish compared to knowing Christ? Does this mean that if I let go of my dreams and desires that I will gain Christ? And is that enough to sustain my heart? I don't want to let some things go. But maybe my "suffering that loss" is the very thing that is drawing me closer to Christ.....I recognize my deep need for You LORD, my struggle though is whether or not I am willing to endure the things that will make me more aware of that need......'Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining toward what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.'"

Week One: Day One

2008-01-15T00:09:00.000-06:00

Lately I've been craving potato chips. Today while sitting outside Barrett's Bistro, a small coffee spot in the Barrett Honors College complex, I had to settle for a tiny bag of pistachios. My pile of shells grew, my salt craving subsided, and my heart was filled as I spent an hour and a half alone with the LORD knowing that somewhere across campus the rest of my staff team was doing the same (minus the salt craving).

We had just spent an hour doing a prayer walk in pairs and the rest of our morning was to be spent on our own with our Bibles, hearts open to hear from God, and just "be still and know that He is God."

I love it when my time with God is free of an agenda. That's when I pull out my box of crayolas and let the creativity that is brimming in my mind flow freely. Today I rewrote Psalm 84 from God's perspective. Today I prayed that my heart with burn for the scriptures like the disciples in Luke 24:32, and that the hearts of our student leaders would burn for the Words of Christ. Today I licked the salt off my fingers from the tiny bag of pistachios while praying for the women who will be in my Bible study this semester.

Is God at work? Does He answer prayer? You better believe He does. Try this one on for size: While on the prayer walk, I asked that God would allow for me to run into a friend of mine who I haven't seen since early last semester. Just before noon, when the Memorial Union is the busiest (especially on the first day of the semester) who did I see, but my friend! What a sweet thing to have God answer a specific prayer in such a short amount of time.

The best part is, I get to wake up in the morning and do it all over again.

Today I Felt Protected.

2007-12-14T17:46:00.000-06:00

My daily routine of applying makeup and blow-drying my hair is a built in "thinking time." One morning a few weeks ago, the LORD stepped into that time with me and began to guide my thoughts. I had an idea. Which was scary but amazing and that's how I know it was from God. "What if I had a Bible study where I could create a safe place for college women to talk about the things that women struggle with but that no one seems to talk about?" I have a story to tell, one that God has orchestrated and one that I have, at times, been ashamed to tell. The day has come that I am finally going to be using my life to deeply usher others into healing and growth and freedom.

Today I discovered that I have the support of my staff team. And in that, I felt protected. Took by surprise in our staff meeting, my director Mike began to ask me questions in front of the team about the "experimental Bible study" that has been on the tip of my heart. He asked me to share my thoughts and ideas, the outcomes I am praying for, as well as the format. I knew a few weeks ago that this Bible study was going to be a big deal for me. Today when my team prayed for me and when my director announced, "we will need to pray for Emily's protection from the evil one as well as for the women who will be in this study," I realized that it's more important than I thought.

The privilege I have to walk into deep waters with young women is one that cannot possibly be assigned a value.

Plugging My Ears

2007-12-09T21:47:00.000-06:00

Chaos makes me furrow my brow. Tragedy, even in view of God’s divine plan, makes me cry. The inexplicable nature of evil within a person confuses me. When a young man gets to a place in his life that he chooses to shoot down strangers in a place previously recognized as safe and fun - a shopping mall, it is a shock to a community and to a nation. I wonder if he questioned himself. I wonder what went through his mind that convinced him to follow through. What events and disappointments trigger such deep pain? What was kept under the surface and untouched by the light of healing and redemption and for how long? The poor sweet people in Omaha are left with all kinds of unanswerable questions. The innocence of the Midwest has been compromised.

Do we, can we believe that God is perfectly in control of things like this? The truth is, God made this young man; He knit him together in his mother’s womb with wisdom and intricacy. He also numbered his days as well as the others who died yesterday.

The chaos and confusion come when you think about the innocence of those involved. The tragic reality is that our sin always involves others. When someone is sinned against there is opportunity to respond sinfully to it. We get angry, we get bitter, we blame others, we are ruled by shame, paralyzed by fear. And then we sin against someone else who then has the opportunity to respond sinfully as well. It’s a devastating cycle and it never touches just one person.

These are some of the thoughts that ran through my mind as my family sat down for a matinee at 2:20 on December 5, 2007. My mom got a phone call from my aunt, who we had just eaten lunch with. She was on her way into Von Mar when two women ran out screaming and crying, “DON’T go in there! There’s a guy with a gun shooting people!” Simultaneously, a preview came on the screen for a movie about an investigation for a mysterious shooting. The irony was disturbing. The following preview was even more disturbing, video footage from a killer documenting his disastrous choices and evil against other people. Sitting in the 6th row, somewhere near the middle with my eyes tightly shut and plugging my ears I could still hear the sounds of screams of this awful preview. It was a little too real that day.

Later that day, as the soapy brushes washed clean the dirt from my dad’s pick-up, we listened to the radio reports about what information they were able to uncover at that point. It’s almost senseless for me to write about something that makes me speechless....

On Our Way to Mexico in 12 Passenger Vans

2007-11-09T14:46:00.000-06:00

Can you tell by the look on my face that I'm NOT excited to climb into a 12 passenger van to drive to Mexico this weekend? Yeah....well, let me tell you what I AM excited about - we are meeting up with the U of Arizona Navs tomorrow morning at the butt-crack of dawn to team up with Amor Ministries and build 4 homes in three days!! That's right. It's our annual Sunland Road Rally when we "go somewhere with some friends and do something for someone else."

Please pray for our safety!

Encountering God in "The Lou"

2007-11-07T09:40:00.000-06:00

It's Riding in Planes and Encountering Undesirable Men That Challenges My Belief in the Sovereignty of God

2007-10-21T15:25:00.000-05:00

Recently, I have come to the humbling and somewhat sad realization that I don't fully trust in the sovereignty of God. The evidence that gave away my lowly view of Him was anger, sadness and a slow simmer of self-pity. (Do cooking analogies work with deep spiritual things? I'm not sure, but I just gave it a shot.) What I have come to realize is that God is indeed sovereign. There are heroes in my life who live this out in the face of what most of us would view as tragedies.

A young woman I know was raped. When we cry together about this, she mostly talks about how much God has met her, how deeply she clings to the LORD, and her confidence in the fact that God will use her story to bless others. She is an inspiration in my life.

A couple who was preparing to have their first baby, grieved her death hours after her birth. They actually tell people that they don't view her death as a horrible or awful thing. But they rest in the fact that God is good and sovereign. In their grief, they trust that God will use their story to impact and bless others. Their baby died only a month before the young woman was raped.

Upon hearing the news of the baby's death, the young woman cried out to God in anger and sadness and asked that He would help her to know His goodness and sovereignty. She pondered these things for several weeks before the unthinkable happened to her. Not knowing that she would soon be taken advantage of, God prepared her, braced her, and girded her heart with truth that has saved her from despair. Is not God the only one who could orchestrate those events?

Certain recent events in my life left me saying, "LORD, You are so committed to my growth that you would allow these things to happen." (This is where airplanes and undesirable men come in.) When a woman sees a man from her past, there is weirdness. In my most recent encounters, I felt mostly anger and disbelief mixed with a little sheepishness. To put it plainly, I felt like a fool and it made me mad.

In 5 days time, I saw two men from my past as well as heard a talk on contentment at a women's breakfast. I happened to see one of the men on the same day as the contentment talk. It was truly a test of my faith and my character. It tested my trust in God and my belief in His sovereignty, because there was no explanation behind life at that point. I was challenged to believe what is true and not just give in to my emotions.

I have chosen to offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the LORD instead of complaining. I have chosen to claim truth in the face of the lies I believe about God and myself. And ya know what? It makes it much easier to not freak out when you have to de-plane because of leaking hydraulic fluid on a connection in Las Vegas; it makes it not that big of a deal when your body-wash ends up on everything else in your luggage; and there's no need to be irritable when your flight gets delayed because God is in control. God is good. And God is for me.

Sunland Goodness

2007-09-13T16:33:00.000-05:00

yo yo yo

here is a glimpe into Sunland Navigator life.....I love these people!

Psalm 18

2007-09-13T10:41:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq2mFq_zI0w

Follow Your Dreams!

2007-07-11T15:00:00.000-05:00

This makes me cry every time I see it!!

This is a beautiful story about a man who is in spite of his insecurity takes a risk to follow his dream of being an opera singer. It makes me cry and gives me goose bumps because he is an inspiriation and an example of living for your dreams......check it out....

Semifinals:
http://digg.com/lbv.php?id=2259058&ord=1

Artifacts

2007-06-13T15:16:00.001-05:00

...

Welcome to my humble abode

...

photos by Joni Poon

Hey Ya

2007-06-09T00:35:00.001-05:00

This is an excellent video that I find incredibly entertaining!

Suddenly Outcast has a depth that I never knew existed!

Ode To Marriage

2007-05-12T15:40:00.000-05:00

When your parents have been married for 30 years I'd say that's cause for some major celebration. (Especially if when they hit the 25 year mark you as their child totally dropped the ball in the game of celebrating important days in the lives of your loved ones.) Jason and I decided to go all out this year to congratulate them - I flew home to Iowa to surprise them and we decided to send them on a honeymoon (since they never really had one) to Napa Valley.

We decided to present this gift to them in a more theatrical manner instead of just telling them what we were doing.....

Imagine a busy old fashioned downtown in Omaha, NE. It's a Saturday night in April which means it's prom weekend. There's sherbet colored dresses everywhere. My folks are seated outside a French cafe waiting for my brother Jason and his wife Kate to join them. What they don't know is that I am going to show up as well. As we walked around the corner to see our parents waiting, they reacted just like you hope people to do when you surprise them! Lots of shouting, lots of laughing and hugs!

Jason and I came prepared with a song. We performed it outside that French cafe with a guitar and a conga.....and here are the lyrics:

It's the ode to marriage.
It's the ode to marriage.
Thirty years ago you met at a stoplight, yeah a stoplight
Fumanchu in a pickup truck smiled at blondie in a beetle, yeah a beetle.
Party girl found Jesus and a hunk, a Baptist hunk.
Late night coffee brought fate along
Love followed fate six months later, they got hitched.

Could you imagine such a perfect match?
City meets country in a wedding
All in white and daisies
Daisies turned to roses love ever after, love ever after.

It's the ode to marriage.
It's the ode to marriage.
Congratulations on thirty wonderful years.
And look what you have, two awesome kids!

We're sending you on a marriage extravaganza
Cause we love and we're proud of you
We're sending you on a vacation to California, Napa Valley.

It's the ode to marriage.
It's the ode to marriage.

Papa Sunland

2007-05-10T23:20:00.000-05:00

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4863361274618551854&q=papamullet+godfather

There are so few words to describe the glorious performance of my NavWest trainer!!

Three Amigos - Episode 3 and Bloopers

2007-04-04T19:29:00.000-05:00

Episode 3 - Facing Your Personal El Guapo

After all the fun we had we of course had to show the bloopers! Get ready to belly-laugh!

Three Amigo Bloopers!

The Adventures of the Three Amigos Continue....

2007-02-10T11:16:00.000-06:00

Episode 2 - Journey Through the Desert -A Search for El Guapo, is now available for viewing!

This particular episode ended with the Three Amigos as well as El Guapo and Jefe showing up LIVE at NavNite. The Amigos had 3 demands for El Guapo and his sidekick....
1) Sign up for spring break and pay their deposit of $50 by next Friday,
2) Invite another amigo, and
3) dress up like a clown, jump into an aquarium and sing the lyrics to Pat Benitar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" backwards!!

El Guapo and Jefe are still contemplating whether or not they will go on Spring Break with the Navigators. Stay tuned for next week's Episode to find out!

Click here to watch!

Three Amigos Save Spring Break - Episode 1 "A Cry For Help"

2007-01-26T23:40:00.000-06:00

See Episode 1...A Cry for Help

My Celebrity Look-Alikes

2006-12-20T12:47:00.000-06:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Ode to Finals

2006-12-07T11:12:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you just have to get dressed up at midnight and go around to all your friends and serrenade them about their upcoming finals. It's just what you have to do.

ASU Prayer Makes the Paper!

2006-11-30T13:31:00.000-06:00

A couple of our students were pictured in the paper about the 24-7 prayer! Becca and Immanuel are both in the photos....check it out:

http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/index.php?sty=79546

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

2006-11-28T23:01:00.000-06:00

I couldn't love my Bible study girls ANY MORE than I already do! They have been such a delight and SO much fun every week this semester. We had our finale tonight with a party at my place sipping hot wassail and spiced hot chocolate! Mmmm.

Are there really any words to describe ugly Christmas sweaters? Well....no. There's also not much to be said about white elephant gifts won playing "Traveling Bingo."

Quote of the night: "You girls have been [the presence of] God to me this semester. When I left home to come to ASU my home church basically said, 'Whelp....see ya. Good luck,' because of ASU's reputation. It's probably because of you girls that it hasn't been as hard as I thought. Thanks."

My Newfound Friends

2006-11-27T21:53:00.000-06:00

I'd like to say that one of the things I'm always thankful for is friends. And God tends to provide them in a crazy way. This fall the week we were first on campus recruiting students to the Navs I met two different women who have become very dear to me today. Let me tell you the story of Babs.......

So there I was, on my way to my apartment office to pick up a package when a woman standing on the sidewalk said hello. I smiled and said hello back. She asked me if the boxes I was carrying were books I ordered. It just so happened that I was carrying 5 boxes of Bibles on a dolly. I told her I had ordered Bible and which warranted the question, "Wow. Why?" We chatted for a while before we introduced ourselves.

"I'm Emily by the way."

"Hi, I'm Babs."

"Wait...I totally know who you are! You met my friend Becca yesterday!"

Just the day before, Becca was telling a story of how she met this really nice girl on the bus whose name was Babs. So when Babs introduced herself I knew that it had to be the same person....how many people do you meet in one city whose name is Babs? So began a friendship, over a bunch of boxes of Bibles.

That same week I met Sari....let me tell you the story of Sari (like Sarah, but with an "eee" at the end).

So there I was, on campus at our water table inviting students to come to our BBQ and making a fool out of myself with my guitar, singing a song I was making up at that very moment about taking a free bottle of water. Then this girl walks up to our table laughing at me - most people were laughing at that point but I recognized her. So I stopped to say hello to see where I had met her. Turns out it was Sari, who I had actually gone to UNI with back in the day. We have dozens of mutual friends back in Iowa and now she's teaching at ASU. HA!

Now the three of us get together and have girls night out. I love these ladies and I'm so thankful for them! Here we are together after a one-act play that Babs was in right before Halloween.

Campaign for Real Beauty

2006-11-26T15:29:00.000-06:00

Last spring I did a great deal of research about BEAUTY and what the Bible has to say about it. Turns out....the Bible has a whole lot to say about beauty! Now as I flip the pages of my Bible I see scriptures underlined and marked that pertain to the topic. I did this research because God kept bringing it to my attention....women on the street wearing clothes that had the word "beautiful" written on them, sings on the street, songs on the radio, conversations with my friends. So finally I said, OK! I'll look into this.

The end result was a workshop and some writing I did about it. In my research I became a huge fan of Dove. Yep, that's right, Dove. As in Dove soap, lotion, beauty products. You may be thinking, now that's silly.....after studying true beauty to like a beauty product line. Well, wait until you see their new ad campaign. It's been around for a long time, but I came across a video on their website that is astounding. Go to Dove's website to see what I'm talking about. It's amazing stuff.

College women, and women all over the world have misconceptions about beauty and what it means. I pray that the ladies I have the privilege of working with will understand that they are loved and beautiful just as God created them.

Wish List

2006-11-22T10:32:00.000-06:00

Why weren't our Christmas wish lists this cool when I was a kiddo? This is seriously a really great marketing tactic...and honestly pretty mesmerizing for an adult! Check it out! http://toyland.walmart.com/

I especially like the song the characters sing at the end when you view your wish list....it's about how they love their toys. O wow...the things they do to make money.

Martini

2006-10-30T21:44:00.000-06:00

(This is an attempt to write a similar story to "Collision", "Rosa is Sexy", "Fits of Rage", and "His Name is Connie". I'm trying something different here though - I'm writing it backwards...from end to beginning but still in as a present stream of consciousness...let me know what you think. it's actually kind of hard)

He squeezes my hand flirtatiously and says, "It was a pleasure." And looking out of the corner of his eye he exits the plane in front of me. "Nice to meet you Alan, take care."

We talk about life, my perspective is on the validity of the gospel, his is on the relativity of everything - including the mountains out the plane window. He likes to golf and does often as any self-respecting young successful entrepreneur should do. He owns three businesses. One in mortgage, one is a martini and cigar bar, the other is real estate. I think I'm supposed to be turned on by that. I confess I am a little impressed.

I think he must be tired, his bloodshot eyes give him away. He curses as we talk about religion and the Christian church. I try to be real and bold. "Everyone always asks me why I'm not married yet and why I don't go to church." He's tired of being asked.

"Is it because of those people who don't live out their faith that you avoid the church?" I ask. "Oh yeah, absolutely. I don't want to be associated with them. There's this physician I golf with who always goes down to Mexico to give medicine and help them out. He's a nice guy and that's a great thing, but ya know...he goes and does all that and then when we golf...he...well....he cheats." I get the sense that he's heard a version of the gospel from this man but that it doesn't mean anything. He resents the physician's message because he's a cheater.

He thinks it's interesting that I'm in the line of work I'm in because of his background. He used to go to retreats, camps, church and he mentions Sunday school teachers. But he stopped all that in college. It's a discussion many of my colleagues are having lately - why do 89% of those who grow up in the church leave once they go to college?

And so I ask, "What changed in you that made you not want to go to church anymore?" He's honest but chooses his words wisely. He was sick of being told what to do. Truth for him comes from his experiences and from what he knows. Scary.

He sits down with a plastic container housing an overpriced chicken sandwich. Conversation doesn't begin until we take off. He's nervous about weird sounds plans make at take-off and touch-down.

I finally board the plane wondering why on earth it was in God's plan for my day to wait in the airport for seven hours. "Maybe I'll meet someone important," I think. Secretly, I hope a handsome single man my age will sit down next to me, fall in love with me in the time it takes to get from Phoenix to Orange County, and then some day ask me to marry him. Oh boy. I'm tired.

NEW ADDRESS

2006-10-27T16:01:00.000-05:00

Hi. I have a new address....the one listed on the return envelope of my newsletter is my old one. Oopsie, again. :-)

The correct address is listed on the back of my newsletter. (30 W. Carter Dr #1-201)

Thanks for your patience with my typos and misprints on my newsletter.

Fall Start-up activities

2006-10-25T23:55:00.000-05:00

Meet Sarah (left) and Michelle (right). They're the new EDGE girls. I love love love them!
Here I am with my little bro's Tim and Josh Brown. This was the first time the SALT team was together after the summer. We were pretty stoked to see each other.
Dah dah dah...the gallon challenge.
Here's some of the ASU Nav staff women. Kristin, Michelle, me, Sarah. (not pictured, Sue and Sherri). We were about to begin an evening called Passport to ASU where new students meet all kinds of on campus organizations. We meet most of the people who end up sticking around at this event every year!

Annual Labor Day Weekend Camping Trip

2006-10-25T23:48:00.000-05:00

Pictured below is an after shot of a game we like to call...Nav Attack...it's capture the flag with weapons. The weapons are stockings filled with flour!

Tim and Nate Mmmm hobo dinners!

Quiet times with Krystal and Carmel.
Hangin out with some of the ladies in our tent.

Oopsie!

2006-10-25T23:41:00.000-05:00

A few notes on my recently sent newsletter.....a few things got cut off in the print shop:

I'm "FIGHTING THE GOOD....FIGHT"

The caption of the photo of David should read "(pictured with Rachel Kraines)"

Names of the women in my bible study -From back left: Kate, Sierra, Melissa, Jodi, (middle) Amber, Christine, Rebekah, Patricia, (front) Renee, Kristina, DeJarne', Emily

old school advertising

2006-10-25T14:03:00.000-05:00

So this has nothing to do with ministry, my personal life, relationships or anything deep at all. But! I happened upon this site via someone's REALLY hillarious post with comments on these lovely photos.....http://go-ahead-be-sarcastic.blogspot.com/ is where I first saw this.

Enjoy the weirdness... Plan 59's Demonic Tots The especially funny thing to me about all of these is that someone ACTUALLY drew those pictures...they thought about it and created them. woah. And the food photos...people actually thought that was a good idea...ew.

Fits of Rage

2006-10-19T23:20:00.000-05:00

I watch a grown woman throw a tantrum - seeing this makes me thankful that two year olds don't have much in the way of vocabulary - they can't say nearly as obnoxious things as a full-grown-control-hungry-self-entitled-woman.

The world of Phoenix Sky Harbor gates A15-30 will know her tragic and unfair story. Because after all, her friend is on that plane and she's not because security made her take off her sweater. The checkpoint was six lines deep and she wants to make sure the faulty system is called out on its ridiculous nautre. I think she is ridiculous. The US Airways gate attendant thinks she's pretty ridiculous too. "There's really no point in arguing about this, " she says to the angry woman whose artificially colored red hair is an outward manifestation of her firey spirit. She's "mad as hell" and we all get the privelege of hearing her story 1 1/2 times every 4 minutes. At this rate, when the day is done she will have told the story up to 540 times.

I have to switch gates, and I'm glad because I am tired of being within ear-shot of the never ending venting of an adult who feels entitled to something better than reality. She deserves something more than what humanity can offer her and she will state her case. She's entitled to perfection and where it's not possible, she'll complain until she gets what she wants. Funny thing is, this behavior is rewarded in our world. She would have been put on another flight, she would have gotten to Ft. Lauderdale eventually, but she gets what she feels is special treatment because of the complaints that uncontrolably spew out of her being. I think she might even be sweating.

I wonder how her thyroid is doing, I wonder what her heart rate is, I wonder if she has high blood pressure. If she reacts this vehemently to an airplane how does she react to spilled milk, or a hang nail, or a stubbed toe? How does she fume when she gets a salad with the dressing on it when she asked for the dressing on the side? What is her anger level when someone tells her no? Did her nose look that pointy and her eyes so large when she threw tantrums at two years old?

Rosa is Sexy

2006-10-16T19:21:00.000-05:00

It’s 1:00 am. I am coming to know many things about Oliver, the man on the phone outside my apartment. He isn’t at a party where his friends are drunkenly recruiting him to be. The phone is being passed around the party. His tone changes with each new person he talks to. He has no way to get there. His wallet was stolen. He likes to ask women what they are wearing over the phone. He thinks Rosa must look sexy. He doesn’t want Rosa. He is in love. He is engaged. He is going to have a little girl. He’s going to be a Daddy. He’s missing the party. He has no car. Rosa now has is number. He laughs a lot when talking to women. He swears a lot when talking to men.

How much of what he says is true? How much of what he believes about himself is true? Does Rosa believe him? Does he believe himself?
I’m sleeping on my couch tonight because I did laundry today and was too tired to put my clean sheets back on my bed to sleep in it. I knew I was going to do that. I’m temped to go sleep on a bare bed because Oliver is obnoxious.

Collision

2006-10-16T19:16:00.000-05:00

I hear my least favorite sound. The sound of friction that makes you almost feel the heat. The sound that makes blood rush to the capillaries near the surface of your skin over your entire body. The sound that slams your eyes open in the middle of the night. Squealing, screeching, screaming wheels come to a sudden and horrifying stop. The stop of the shriek is anything but the halting of sound; rather it is the crunching of metal, the popping of plastic and the shattering of glass. Moments pass, enough of them so I can almost fall back asleep and lose the memory of the sound, but few enough that I am aroused again to hear the sound of voices.

“Hello? Are you ok? Hello?!”

“Hello.”

The sound of the response means everyone is ok – even though I can’t see them. I can only hear. The conversation that followed, assuming there was one, only registered with my startled mind as quite mumblings.

Being jolted awake like that makes me realize I need to drink of glass of water. I didn’t realize how parched I was until it took 3 or 4 gulps of water to quench my dry throat. It’s the kind of thirsty that requires lots of water because all sides, curves and crevices of your throat are like dry dirt that water sits upon for a while before it can sink in and quench.

When I wake in the morning, it seems like a dream but I know it was real. I can’t seem to forget it, the sound haunts me. I was assaulted by the sound and it stays in my memory.

24-7 Prayer on ASU's campus

2006-09-25T22:39:00.000-05:00

www.loveasu.com

Check this out....God is at work on this campus. Please pray with me and the thousands of students who will be seeking God these 40 days.

His Name is Connie

2006-09-13T11:09:00.000-05:00

I see a man dressed as a woman - he's really tried hard to become what he is today. Too skinny to be recognized as a man unless closely observed, yet too masculine to be permanently recognized as a woman. He's grown his hair out long and fingernails to look like a woman. He is wearing a short skirt, heals, turtleneck and vest. He also has a stuffed bra - it's so obvious.

I am astonished at the shameless observations he is making of women around him, he's very much like a child - looking, staring, mimicking. It's as if he's studying how women talk, sit, and carry themselves to master it for himself. Then he'll be noticed, then he'll be loved, then he'll be cared for and special. What a tragedy.

He knods suggestively to a man who enters the restaurant. He's wired and distracted by his obsession. Talking to himself faintly and quietly, he's coaching himself to be this identity that causes me pain because it's so obvious he's not. He's obvious he's "not all there." Across the room stands a tall, slender, pretty young woman - she catches his eye and he takes in her appearance like data into a computer.

Coughing every now and then gives away his masculine tone of voice. The table of women he was studying leaves and a look for forlornness hangs in his eyes. Now he doesn't know what to do, who to be. His head spins to get a last look at them before they are really gone. He takes out from the back pocket of his skirt a folded napkin with scribblings on it, reads it and looks slyly over his shoulder while folding it again and placing it back in the pocket.

A woman sitting near by glances at him once and then twice but looks a little longer. I can hear her thoughts, "Is she a he, really? Oh wow, that's disgusting. Ok, don't look at him again. Don't look." But she steals a look out of the corner of her eye.

He sits with his purse shoved closely to his groin, feet crossed at the ankles. The large vanes in his arms give him away. As he stands to leave his heals click on the floor and he grabs his Wal-Mart bag, pushes in his chair, refills his soda and leaves.

No one here seems to notice that a man who once knew himself and now doesn't know who to be or what to be has come and gone from their world. Those who noticed are now more at ease since he's gone. Those who didn't, well they just didn't notice.

Minutes pass and an employee approaches the table he sat at and wipes off the cookie crumbs that he left. Now all evidence of this man is wiped from this place....

Glinda, the "gah" is silent

2006-08-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

....................................................................................................................

I love seeing redemptive themes in secular things....like musicals. I went to see Wicked last night with Katy, Alicia and Ariel on campus and it was amazing!! It's the "untold story about the witches of Oz" and I am blown away by the messages about good and evil in it. "Why do people become evil? Are they born that way?" That's actually one of the questions in the musical. It's a story about the importance of a loving father, a story about the importance of friendship, a story about how there's more to life than appearances....check out the trailer....

http://www.wickedthemusicaltour.com/

(not to mention that sister has got some lungs!!)

684 surveys later.....

2006-08-23T10:28:00.000-05:00

Spiritual Survey

Name:_____________________________________
Address/Dorm:________________________________
Phone #: __________________________________
Email: _____________________________________
Year in school: __Fresh. __Soph. __Jr. __Sr.
Gender: __Male __ Female

What do you value most in life? (Check all that apply)
__ School __ Career __ Knowledge
__ Family __ Fun __ Boyfriend/Girlfriend
__ God __ Friends __ Other

What is your spiritual background?

God is…
__ Big and impersonal __ Personal and loving
__ Not sure __ Don’t believe in God
__ Other _____________________

On a scale of 1-10 how important is your spiritual life?_________
(1 = Unimportant; 10 = Very Important)

Would you be interested in… (check all that apply)
__hearing about how to have a relationship with God
__joining a Bible study
__a camping trip
__community service
__ultimate frisbee
__racquetball

This is the survey we have been asking students at ASU to fill out over the last week to be entered into a raffle to win a bike, DVD player or Target gift card. Close to 700 students have filled this survey out and a whole bunch of them are interested in joining a Bible study, there's also a suprising number who are interested in hearing about how to have a relationship with God. How amazing!

Last week was move-in week, this week classes are starting and 6000-7000 new freshman are hoofin' it across campus scared and looking for a place to belong and feel at home. Please pray that the LORD would get us connected with the right people at the right time and that He will give us boldness to love them in the name of Jesus.

Cars are the Bane of My Existence

2006-07-25T17:53:00.000-05:00

What would you say or what would you think if I told you that I think Satan and his minions popped the tire of my car while driving? Some of you might say I'm crazy, others might think it is quite possible. I might even think for a moment that I am "over spiritualizing" a bad day.

When we seek to serve the LORD in full time ministry, in our churches, in our families, jobs and our own personal lives there is someone who exists for the very purpose of destroying our efforts. The once beautiful arch angle Michael fell because of pride and now lives to deceive, lie and destroy the loved ones of God. And that's precisely why I think I'm having a bad day. I woke up this morning awaiting the news of the Chapman Chevrolet dealership in Tempe on my car. The beast I use for transportation has been in and out of the shop for over a week now. When I got the call at 7:54 a.m. I learned that 400 some odd dollars would replace my "body control module", $233 would snap my "door lock acuator" back into "actuating" and another $88 would replace my now leaking battery. You could say I'm an angry woman on this fine July afternoon.

What's better is that I was graciously allowed to borrow a friend's car for the day while I was without my malfunctioning-American-made-hunk-o-junk. What's worse is that while driving my friend's car the tire blew out! This brings to very practical reality the statement, "When it rains, it pours." Good LORD Almighty help me to keep my cool as I undergo this challenge. I think of what James says about trial and how it creates something in us. (And no, it's not the overwhelming urge to curse, though that is there.) It creates steadfastness, in order that I will be more complete in Christ and not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

This is HILARIOUS and precisely what I will keep in mind today:

1 Peter 4: 12-13 says, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed."

over the river and through the woods

2006-07-06T16:11:00.000-05:00

Just the other day I finally returned to Arizona after 6 busy weeks of fundraising, travel, training, and visiting friends. When I think about all that has gone on I draw in a huge breath and let it go with my jaw hanging open, my body can't help but let out an audible sigh...

I made the trip from Iowa to Colorado by myself - long trips in the car alone always prove to be a time of car dancing and listening to my latest favorite album (right now it's India Arie's Testimony 1: Life and Relationship http://www.indiaarie.com/ or www.notmyhair.com). I also pray a lot in the car, I usually process the latest issues in life I am facing, and of course tears are shed. It's a safe place for me to talk out loud and not worry about someone hearing me.

The second part of my trip was from Colorado Springs to Phoenix and two friends, Casson and Lisa Mathis joined me. On that caravan, I got to know Lisa and heard her life story. We discussed Shakespeare, listened to old radio shows, shared about our views on spiritual disciplines, ate peanut butter oreos and took in the scenery. We arrived home to Phoenix to see the most amazing display of fireworks EVER! Imagine driving through the mountains of Arizona, car nearly overheating due to all the work it has to do to get up and down all those hills, weary from 12 hours on the road and 8 hours the previous day.....and then....Phoenix. There it is! The long awaited arrival to my home! And all across the flat-as-a-pancake horizon of the valley metro, pyrotechnics that look like chandeliers in the sky erupt! Driving into the city just as all the fireworks shot up was likely the best "welcome home" I've ever gotten. My heart was celebrating much like those fireworks to return again to Arizona where my life and ministry happen. I can't wait until the students come back again in August. There will most certianly be more fireworks hapenning in my heart again on that day!

I'm glad to be home again. I joined a gym (Pure Fitness) and had my first complementary session with Rocky....a personal trainer. HA! I can't wait for students to return. In the mean time I'll continue fundraising and catching up with my beloved friends from Phoenix.

The Only Time Coveting is OK

2006-07-06T16:05:00.000-05:00

Recently I have pondered the meaning of the statement, “I covet your prayers.” I even remember the first time I heard someone say it. It was over the phone with my cousin Annie. At first it just sounded like one of those uber-spiritual ideas that I didn’t really understand, but I still chimed in with an understanding, “uh-huh” as if I knew what she meant. As it happens with many things I come to understand, I began to hear this phrase more often and by way of guessing, I finally understood the strange phrase. I covet your prayers is a beautiful way of saying, “please, please pray for me.” In effect, I am jealous for your prayers, I long for them to be directed toward my needs, concerns and requests. Many times, we as Christians believe that if we have more people praying for something then maybe God’s ear will be pricked to hear and act in response to our cacophony of prayers. I happen to think that there’s nothing wrong with reminding the LORD of our needs and questions, even though in His sovereignty, He already knows. That reminds me of a story I heard a friend tell about watching his sons build a snowman outside their home in Colorado. He watched his boys play in the snow and create the snowman, and when one of his sons came inside he told the entire story. Now my friend, being a good father, did not say to his son, “Shut-up, I watched the whole thing; I don’t want to hear you talk about it.” Rather, he listened with excitement and joy to hear his son’s viewpoint of a successful afternoon of playing. Much in the same way the LORD is with us, His children. So, from one child of God to another, from one heir of the King to another, I covet your prayers. Please pray for my growth as a leader, for the Nav ministry at ASU, for the hearts and souls of the students attending this university – I am jealous for your attention to all of these needs. Remind God of what we are doing here and ask Him for His favor, direction, wisdom and courage. Praise Him too, for what He has already done.

Remembering God's Ways

2006-06-16T15:08:00.000-05:00

Over the last couple weeks, I’ve put over 2400 miles on my car traveling from Arizona to Colorado and all over the great state of Iowa. I want to mention money, but before that, here’s a verbal snapshot of how God has moved in the hearts of students at ASU.

With all the driving I’ve been doing, when I turn off the radio, unplug the CD player and put away the books on tape – the scenery around me rushes by. First I see desert land with rugged cacti and plateaus, then the majestic mountains, the plains of eastern Nebraska, and finally the lush bluffs of southwestern Iowa farmland. In a similar way, the memories of the last two years of ministry have run through my mind...

Today I praise the LORD when I remember meeting Becca the first week of ASU classes – my first week “on the job.” We later met for breakfast and realized we had both been praying for a discipleship friendship like ours to form before we even knew each other! Becca will be a junior next year and she has grown as a woman of God right before my eyes. One of the challenges Becca has faced at ASU is knowing how to be bold with her peers about the message of Jesus. I have seen her go from caution and fear to confidence and great leaps of faith. Remembering how the LORD has used me in Becca’s life is like driving through the majestic mountains of Colorado.

When I arrived in Arizona I thought it would be a desert in many ways – now I can not only say that I find it a remarkably beautiful place, but I can also say that God is at work in the hearts of the students springing up life and growth. It’s not a desert after all! I have the privilege to sit at places like Three Roots coffee house – a politically charged, vegan, artistic hang out spot for students and open the Bible with women who long to know Jesus more closely. Next year another eager leader in our ministry, Alicia and I may hang out there at times to learn together about God’s ways.

In just a couple short months we will fight against the Arizona heat and the tactics of the enemy to keep students distracted from Jesus. Perhaps the LORD will use Becca, Alicia and I to point women to Himself.

I love this job. And over the last two years many have given varying financial gifts to support the ministry. These gifts enable me to do what I’m doing. I wish you could be with me just today as I remember all that God has done. You’d see the way God multiplies your support into the lives of Becca, Alicia and others. If God leads you to give, mail me a check made out to The Navigators, and I’ll make sure you are receipted.

Rob Bell coming to Tempe

2006-06-16T14:07:00.000-05:00

Rob Bell is a gifted speaker who is being used in this generation to speak the refreshing truth of the Gospel. He has written lots of great books and has a series of short videos called NOOMA. He's touring the US starting at the end of this month and is coming to Tempe. Check out the website: www.everythingisspiritual.com

Fundraising School

2006-06-14T10:42:00.000-05:00

I had the opportunity last month to be a "fundraising coach" for the new EDGE Corps class. I sat at a table with four really cool women who will be going to Arizona, Pennsylvania and Indiana! These women refreshed my heart - even though the beginning of EDGE Corps was only two years ago for me, being with them gave ma a fresh reminder of the passion, vision and desire I have for ministering to college age women.
I felt like their mom in some ways - I was SO proud of them, their faith to call folks all over the country to ask them to join their support team. Meet Meghan, Krista, Janeen and Kate....

We use bananas for phones to practice calling donors and friends!

The sweet sound of a mandolin....

2006-06-09T12:40:00.000-05:00

When I heard that Nickel Creek was playing in Council Bluffs when I was back in town, it took me about .5 seconds to decide I was going to that concert! I called a dozen people, but to no avail, everyone was out of town, studying, working...and so I went anyway! It was such an amazing concert and to hear them live after listening to their CD's over the last two years was SO cool! What talented musicians.

Bye Bye EDGE Corps

2006-06-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ql-8Ow2olw (THIS VIDEO IS A TRIBUTE TO THE EDGE CLASS OF 2004. IT WAS MADE MY KATHERINE PERRY)

EDGE Corps....
Evangelism, Discipleship, Growth, Experience...
a life of risk, faith, trust and adventure, and something I had looked forward to since my sophamore year of college has now come to an end. The last two years serving with the Navigators in EDGE Corps have been amazing. Words just aren't enough to describe how I've been challenged in evangelism, how I 've learned more about discipleship. I've grown more personally in the last two years than I ever have. And the experience of moving to a new place and diving into a different culture has changed me. I'm a better woman - stronger, humbled, living in greater freedom, than I was two years ago at this time.

EDGE is finished, but my job with the Navigators certianly is not! Becca, Alicia, Kathy, Jill, Katy, Amber, Andrea, Alissa.....those are just a few of the names of the women who have stollen my heart over the last two years. My work is not done there - women are asking for help to grow in leadership, their personal walks with Jesus and I respond to that with a resounding YES! I will help you! I feel like Isaiah when he told God, "Here I am! Send me!" It reminds me a little of Dori (the blue fish) from Finding Nemo when she yells, "Ooo! Ooo! Pick me, pick me!"

I will be returning to Arizona State with the Navigators as Staff in Training - I'll be an intern with the Navs! This means I'm considered full time, long term staff. The LORD has definately given me a love for this work and so I'm sticking around! Our staff team will also be increasing - we're gaining two new EDGE Corps women! (but shh! they don't know they're coming yet. they'll find out at the end of this month!)

I'm excited to continue on with the work the LORD is doing at ASU. Thanks for your prayers and support to enable me to do so.

Man Month and Women's Day

2006-06-02T14:57:00.000-05:00

In March the men of the ASU Navigators spent the month not shaving, getting dirty and having important talks about what it means to be a man - strength, leadership, courage. They played tackle football at midnight, went into the desert to play paintball with slingshots and washed some of the women's cars. The inaguartion of the month was them all shaving together one night after NavNite.

We also had a Women's Day on April 15 - so we called in TAXX Day (The Amazing Double X Chromosome Day). We had traveling workshops including True Beauty, Modesty and The Power of the Tounge. We ended the day with some worship and discussed how Chirst is the center of everything - beauty, modesty and our words.

Quiet Your Heart

2006-05-02T15:41:00.000-05:00

This is the second song I've written. I actually wrote the lyrics as a poem when I was having time alone with God. I was just listening to the LORD and these are the words I felt the LORD saying to me.

Quiet your heart, it is My home.
Remove anger, get rid of shame.
There is no room for fear
There is no room for fear.
I am your peace, I am your guide
Come unto Me, draw near
Come unto Me draw near.

Empty your mind of thoughts that kill.
False assumptions, old temptations,
Let go of lust and lies
Let go of lust and lies.
I am the Truth, I am your rest,
Give Me your heart's deep cries
Give Me your heart's deep cries.

Unrestrained Love

2006-05-02T12:47:00.000-05:00

The lyrics listed below are this song I wrote about a month ago - the tune and the words came to me in the shower and then I found some chords on my guitar to go along with it. I haven't written music before and so this is a very new thing. The LORD has been giving me joy through music lately and I've been able to write a couple songs. The last time I wrote a song I was in the 4th grade! These are some of the characteristics of God that have become real to me this year and it brings me to praise Him.

Unrestrained love
Overflowing mercy
Display of Your goodness
And matchless peace

You are sovereign

Perfect in holiness
Kingdom of grace
Display of Your beauty
And righteousness

You are sovereign

Bountiful blessing
Removal of shame
Display of Your kindness
And a brand new name

You are sovereign

It's raining it's pouring the smog is finally clearing...

2006-03-11T12:37:00.000-06:00

Today it rained for the first time in 143 days in Phoenix. (the record used to be 109 days) For the most part, I don't really like rainy days which is why living in Phoenix is awesome for me. But when it doesn't rain for 140 days....you start to miss it. So today it rained! Hallelujah!

Out of the Red

2006-03-09T10:39:00.000-06:00

EXCITING NEWS OF GOD'S PROVISION......I'm out of deficit! The last two months have been exceptionally challenging and filled with abundant blessing. Back in January I was faced with the news that I was going to be in a very large dificit at the end of May ($8500 in the hole) and so I was put to the task of fundraising part time and being on campus part time. As you can imagine this was difficult because I love the students and just wasn't as able to be with them as much. The LORD has taught me much about waiting, trusting in Him and believing in His goodness. I have INDEED seen the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13-14)

THANK YOU so much to every one of you who have prayed for me and with me during this time. My vision for what ministry really is has been renewed. I have been humbled. I have been richly blessed by your friendship and support.

So now what? Well, I have clearance to be back on campus full time again! Hurrah! So I'll be hitting it hard for the last 2 months (school ends on May 10). Then I'll go to Colorado for my final EDGE Corps training, attend a fundraising school, and then head back to the midwest to touch base with friends and family in June. I will begin preparing for the transition to go from EDGE Corps staff to Intern Staff. In a sense I am not done fundraising - it's an essential part of ministry, and just as spiritual as leading a Bible study and I have learned it's immense importance. My biggest need is new monthly donors.

For next year, my budget will increase by about $1000-$2000 a month. There are several subsidies that are given to "EDGErs" that aren't given to Intern Staff. Health insurance is higher, entity fees are higher, and housing costs are no longer provided for me as Intern Staff. Those are three very big expenses - especially housing. It's not too cheep here in the southwest!

Please continue to pray with me for God's provision. I am trusting Him and asking Him to provide a healthy network of partners here in the Phoenix valley. It's an adventure and I'm glad that God is the author of this amazing story. He has once again proved to be my knight in shining armor!

Thanks again for journeying with me on this beautiful road!

street names

2006-02-28T23:51:00.000-06:00

Farfrompoopen Road, the only road to Constipation Ridge, lost to Divorce Court and Psycho Path, which placed No. 1 in an online poll of the nation's wildest, weirdest and wackiest street names.

Mitsubishi Motors sponsored the poll on the Web site and more than 2,500 voters cast their ballots during a week of voting that ended this month.

Winners were announced Friday.

"Our readers really stepped up with some insane street names," said Web site publisher Paul Eisenstein. "Our panel had a difficult time narrowing several hundred down to the 10 our readers voted on.

"But we learned a lot about the byways of this country, not to mention the collective sense of humor of city planners everywhere."

In first place was Psycho Path in Traverse City, Mich., followed by Heather Highlands, Pa.'s, Divorce Court in second and Tennessee's Farfrompoopen Road in third. Eisenstein said all the roads were verified, although some are private and hard to find.

The complete top 10 list included:

10. Tater Peeler Road in Lebanon, Texas
9. The intersection of Count and Basie in Richmond, Va.
8. Shades of Death Road in Warren County, N.J.
7. Unexpected Road in Buena, N.J.
6. Bucket of Blood Street in Holbrook, Ariz.
5. The intersection of Clinton and Fidelity in Houston
4. The intersection of Lonesome and Hardup in Albany, Ga.
3. Farfrompoopen Road in Tennessee (the only road up to Constipation Ridge)
2. Divorce Court in Heather Highlands, Pa.
1. Psycho Path in Traverse City, Mich.

Imagination...a powerful tool

2006-02-20T16:00:00.000-06:00

Reflection on John 5:1-11

The Healing at the Pool
1Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. 2Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda[a] and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. 3Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed.[b] 5One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. 6When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"
7"Sir," the invalid replied, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."
8Then Jesus said to him, "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." 9At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, 10and so the Jews said to the man who had been healed, "It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat."
11But he replied, "The man who made me well said to me, 'Pick up your mat and walk.' "

I am a passerby, a woman at the feast saddened by the sight of the invalids by the pool. What is most painful is to know the deep longing in my own heart to dive into that pool when the waters move but my resistance to do so because “I am not an invalid.” Oh, the pride in my heart that makes me see myself as more than I am. And yet I am compelled. I approach the man on his mat,

“How long have you bee waiting here?” I ask him, expecting a short answer.

“Thirty-eight years, woman. I’m not fast enough to get to the pool before someone else jumps in ahead of me. I’ve been close to being healed, I’ve moved toward the waters, but without someone’s help I have never gotten in.”

I sense a duplicity in my spirit – one side of me wants to help the man and the other side is terribly irritated with his sad story. I lack empathy. A man approaches us and says to him, “Do you wish to get well?” To which the sick man replies, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” After hearing his story twice I am moved, I feel for this man. Thirty-eight years is a long time to be cut in front of by others.

Almost without skipping a beat this man in his robe bends down to the sick man, touches his shoulder with one hand and his knee with another and says to him, “Get up, take up your bed and walk.” My jaw drops in disbelief and then I realize, this must be Jesus! There is much chatter and gasping around me, even some laughter. But it was almost as if the man had never been lame because he moved so gracefully off his mat and onto his feet. The man is as shocked as everyone else around, he is crying now because it’s bee so long that he’s waited for this day.

Jesus is smiling at him and He looks to me as if to ask me the same pointed question. A lump forms in my throat because I although I am not lame or blind, there are vices in my soul that I’m certain only Jesus could change and heal. I am a sick woman disguised as someone who is well. His glance at me makes me know that is my situation. But He’s not grossed out by me or by anyone else around. I fear being exposed – being known as ill when I like so much the façade of being well. I think for a moment, “But wouldn’t it be better to be healed, really healed?” Jesus is still looking into my eyes and I can sense His power and authority to heal. He has no hint of being proud of himself for healing that man, He only looks ready and able to do the same for me. I get butterflies in my stomach as He takes a step closer to me. He knows I long for healing and He knows I don’t know how to ask for it or even receive it.

But if He heals me then my vice will be gone – gone the thing I’ve grown comfortable with; dead the thing I seek when I’m afraid or angry or tired; put to rest what I’ve known for so many years. I’m not so different from that lame man after all.

Another step closer and my eyes fill with tears. Do I believe that He can actually heal me? Is it really possible that He could command me to “get up and walk” too?

“Woman, do you want to be healed?”

His eyes speak more than His words. He wants me to say yes. He wants to heal me. He has a love in His eyes that I haven’t seen anyone look at me with. He already sees the healed me, that’s why.

Silent Retreat

2006-02-20T15:35:00.000-06:00

The idea of a silent retreat may sound a little deceiving...it's not really a day of complete muteness. It's a day of quite contemplation and solitude. Just as silence isn't muteness, solitude is not aloneness either. Solitude is a beautiful time of being alone with God.

This Saturday I spent the day with a small group of women from my church at a silent retreat. We spent time together praying, discussing, and taking part in different excercises and we spent time alone in nature as well as indoors. We were at a Franciscan Renewal Center in Paradise Valley (suberb of Phoenix) which was beautiful.

An incredibly special part of the day was a time of reflection we spent on John 5:1-11. We also spent time studying nature and letting God speak through his creation. I found myself under a gorgeous orchid tree - so fragrant and so fragile. As I took in the scent of the flowers I ate an orange off of a tree from their healing garden.

NavAttack

2006-02-09T19:07:00.000-06:00

Team A
Team B
Alicia and I....umm....so she got me prett good!

You are looking at photos of a little game we like to play with the students called NavAttack (name is courtesy of the University of Arizona Navs...go wildcats!) and is a spin off of capture the flag. We designate boundaries and territories for each team, the "flags" are hidden, (the flags are empty milk jugs with glow stick inside) and our "weapons" are in hand. Yes, I said weapons....what, you might ask are we armed with? Flour filled socks. Everyone wears black which is great for hiding but also great for flour showing up on your clothes when you get hit!

Sometimes when we play, I feel like Sydney Bristo (from Alias) because I'm hiding behind buildings and cars and sneaking up on people...it's so much fun.

Photo Review

2006-02-06T17:23:00.000-06:00

Here's a few photos of a lot of random things that have happened in the last month......enjoy!

McKenzie and I after we finished the Phoenix Rock 'N Roll 1/2 Marathon.

A night out with my staff team. We at at Cafe Istanbul and then played billards!

Rachel and I in our "coil hats" - or rally caps....we wore these beautiful creations to a super bowl party! They're kind of a cross between 80's sweat bands and a something from the renniassance!

These are the awesome women I have in Bible study this semester!

Matt and I went on a double date with Brandon and Kristin.

Night on the town with the girls! (me, Rachel, Sarah, Liz)

Fundraising Update from Emily

2006-02-02T12:09:00.000-06:00

Spinning Plates

2006-02-01T22:23:00.000-06:00

Last night I spoke at NavNite. Another ministry on campus called Chi Alpha joined us for the night which meant that there were at least 60 students (thats almost double what we usually have). This is what I shared..... (it's long so make sure you've got some time...)

Quiet Times and Not Pleasing and Performing For God

We are in the middle of a series on relationships – our relationship to God and others. Last week Liz talked about how God pursues us relentlessly – He’s an initiator, He pursues us in love, and it demands a response.

Tonight we’re gonna talk more about how we relate back to God. One of the ways we respond to God’s initiative toward us is to spend time with Him. Because God is creative and loves variety – He made each of you with unique hearts and unique responses to Him. We all connect with God in different ways and enjoy spending time with Him in different ways. Some of you may love to get up early in the morning and watch the sunrise with your guitar or djembe and sing to the LORD. Others of you might like holing up in a coffee shop for an afternoon with your nose in your Bible and journal. Some others of you might like to lie on a blanket in a park and study the intricacies of the grass and trees, bugs and animals that you see, reveling in God’s creation. Someone else might like to make a drawing or a piece of artwork to capture a lesson you are learning. The next person might like to sit quietly in solitude and just meditate on scripture. The next might connect with God through other people. There are endless ways to respond to our Heavenly Initiator. All are beautiful, all are tender and special. Tonight we’re going to explore the topic of quiet times. This, I have noticed to be a popular Christian term and a popular Christian practice.

What do you know about “quiet times”?

When you hear the words quiet time what comes to your mind?

If you hang around people who are following closely with Jesus it won’t be long before you hear about quiet times – having them, what you’re learning from them, when you do it, how long, what to do etc… Does this sound familiar to any of you? When was the last time you heard a fellow Believer talk about their quiet time? (ask someone specific in the crowd) This is awesome because we can learn from each other and encourage one another as we share.

Something I have wondered about is this….have any of you ever felt guilty or gotten down on yourself when someone mentions their quiet time if maybe you weren’t able to have one that day? Maybe just the thought of spending time alone with God is overwhelming to you. Do you ever just feel like a failure when you open your journal and it’s been 5 days since your last entry or prayer? I do. So many times when I approach God to have a “quiet time,” I come to Him cowering because I feel badly about not doing it often enough or long enough or even because I don’t connect with Him by using the methods that other people use. Picture this with me….

Day 1: I fight with the alarm clock for 30 min and still wake up groggy. I rush to get ready in time to get some time in the Word before a staff meeting or a one-on-one. I feel guilty for pushing the snooze button so many times. “I should have gotten up at 7 like I planned to. Dang it, I won’t have enough time. Well, I guess I won’t have a quiet time today. I’m such a failure.”
Day 2: I tell myself that what happened yesterday won’t happen today and so I make sure I set aside some time to have a quiet time. But I am distracted. After I muster up the discipline to focus and get through it, I close my Bible and I put down my pen still feeling not quite at peace with Him or myself. “Well, that wasn’t that great. I can’t even keep my mind on Jesus. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do better.”
Day 3: Now I’m feeling really badly – yesterday I couldn’t even decide where to read in my Bible and so where should I go today? “LORD I’m so tired.” I don’t know what to read, I’m overwhelmed with life, there’s so much to do today… Oh no! I gotta go! I’m gonna be late!
Day 4: Totally forget to even open my Bible.
Day 5: So do I grovel back to God today and say how sorry I am for not reading the Word and being too busy for Him? I feel so bad – “LORD forgive me… OK LORD, today I’m gonna have a really great quiet time. We’re gonna be on good terms today.” An hour goes by and I find some awesome verses that make me feel good about life and who God is.
Day 6: Yesterday was awesome. I totally feel God’s love and security. “I’m gonna have another long time with You.” I journal, I pray, I read the word, I even write some verses on note cards to memorize.
Day 7: The cycle begins again. Now that I am comfortable in God’s love, I know that I’m “ok” with Him, I grow lazy. I fight with the alarm again. I grow more weary of trying so hard and never getting it right.

SPINNING PLATES VIDEO plate_spin_1.ram
OR (read pgs 26-27 in The Cross Centered Life)

Sometimes in the Christian life we feel pressured to do lots of things to keep God pleased with us. And it can very easily start to feel like we are on stage spinning plates running around trying to keep them from crashing into a hundred pieces.

Tonight I want to talk about some of my heart regarding the motivation behind all of the how to’s and do’s of the practice of time alone with Jesus, or quiet times. I want to share some of my own story to show you how easily our motives can turn to pleasing and performing for God rather than worshiping Him for the grace and acceptance He freely gives to us as His kids.

I grew up in a Christian home and accepted Christ as a little girl. But I never really learned from my parents how to have a quiet time or really even what that was. It wasn’t until junior high youth group that I started to hear more about it. In that youth group I was a part of the leadership team where I learned about sharing my faith, having quiet times, reading Christian books, going on missions trips, memorizing scripture and other disciplines of the Christian life.

While preparing to go on a mission trip, we were all challenged to have a QT five days a week (they gave us the weekends off). Being the very obedient girl that I was I placed a single flexible rod into the stage of my Christian life, lifted up a plate called QUIET TIMES and spun it hard. It stayed in place!

Fast-forward a few years…I’m a college student and life is much busier than when I was in the eighth grade. I got involved in a Bible study and was encouraged to memorize scripture. A few weeks later I learned about the importance of accountability partners. Not long after that I attended a workshop on evangelism. I added a few more spinning plates.

I needed to be witnessing every day, fasting and praying weekly, confessing my sin and being held accountable to other more godly people than me. One by one I added more spiritual activity to my life. Each was good. Some were vital. Yet without realizing it, I allowed a dangerous shift to take place in my mind and my heart. What God had intended to be a means of experiencing His grace and love for me I had turned into a three ring circus! I began living this precious life with Jesus trying to earn His grace and pleasure. I was spinning plates to maintain what I thought was a good Christian life.

This began to take a huge toll on me a little over a year ago when I realized how tired I was from running all over the stage of my life trying to keep God happy by spending time with Him every day. Not to mention the affect it had on my relationships with others. I noticed that I had a pretty intense fear of people and a deep sense of doubt in my self-worth and value. I was lacking joy – I was reminding myself more and more of the importance of obedience rather than reminding my self of the joy I found in being in the presence of the lover of my soul. Sometimes I even avoided spending time in the Word because I was overwhelmed, ashamed and felt guilty.

The ironic thing is I found myself sinking deeper and deeper into sin because of all the pressure I was putting on myself to do this Christian life “right.” As I was trying to sin less and please God more I even became blinded to the deep sin that was growing in my heart. Legalism and idolatry were alive and well in me. It was probably the closest I have ever come to being depressed. You see, I had learned to depend on my own efforts to do things well. I had learned to depend on the approval and love of friends. I had even learned to trust in my own efforts to gain God’s approval of me. And these things failed me time and time again.

Read: Isaiah 44:9-20

I am struck by this passage because of how earnestly the carpenter is working and how faithfully and carefully he plants his trees, waters them and then uses them for his daily needs. I’m struck also by the blindness of the carpenter. He is fooled by all his efforts. So fooled that he doesn’t even take the time to notice that he’s worshiping a block of wood! We have a daily need to praise our Creator – Eccl 3:11 says God has put eternity in the hearts of man. We long for Jesus. And if we don’t fill our souls with Jesus we will fill them with idols. My warning to you is that the enemy who prowls around like a roaring lion wants to see you turn good things that can help you grow more and more attentive to the LORD into the things that drive you away from Him. Did you catch that? What God wants to use for good, the enemy wants to distort and use to destroy you. He wants our eyes to become dull and our hearts to become hard so that we do turn to idols and not the God who initiates toward us in love.

Something that I want to be clear about is this: Spending regular time with the LORD in the Word, praying and studying is vital to our relationship with Him. How can we trust Him if we don’t know Him? How can we know Him if we don’t spend time with Him? But I do think it can be easy to lift up spiritual disciplines as idols. When we raise our 8th or 9th or 10th plate and send it whirring on its pole, we can start trusting in ourselves or our activities to earn God’s love. We can depend on our 30 min in the morning with Jesus instead of depending on Jesus Himself. We can draw our strength from time alone with God instead of drawing on His strength, period.

What I want to communicate with you is the value and importance of spending time with Jesus, drinking deeply from His Word and shaping our lives around the truth of the Gospel. I cannot tell you enough how precious my time with the LORD is. I also want to communicate the importance of our motives and our attitudes as we come to the throne of Grace. As my dear friend Crissa always says, “It’s in the balance.” There is a tender balance between joyful obedience and weary compliance. There is a difference between trying and trusting.

Do you believe that you must have a quiet time so many times a week and for so long in order to “be ok” with Jesus or with another person? Do you feel guilty and unloved when you haven’t spent time with Him? Do you look to your “spinning plates” for the confidence – or even the right – to approach God?

If so you may have begun to live under the rules of legalism. C.J. Mahaney defines legalism like this: Legalism is seeking to achieve forgiveness from God and acceptance by God through obedience to God.

God’s answer…(Matthew 11:28-30, Message) "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. 29Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Last year when I was at the end of my performing rope, when I realized just how tired I was I found Hosea 2 and Song of Solomon 2. Share from these.

Remember justification and sanctification. Can anyone tell me what those two words mean? Can anyone explain why the reality of being justified and sanctified would have an affect on the way we approach God in our quiet times?

In case you were wondering, breaking free from legalism and performance doesn’t mean you stop reading your Bible. So for those of you who have been challenged recently to discipline yourself to have a quiet time every day, take advantage of the opportunity to have to grow! As you do so, check the motives of your heart as well as your understanding of what it means to be saved by grace. No method can save you, no reading plan can cause you to grow, and no amount of discipline can please God. He longs for you to dray near to Him in love, honesty and vulnerability where His grace and Holy Spirit will finish the work He started. He longs for you to trust Him. If you hear me say nothing else tonight, hear me say that God is not pleased by your efforts to please Him – He is pleased by your trust.

Today I decided to take part in an experiment. I committed to spend 30 min a day with Jesus with no agenda. Yep - no plan, no goal, no aim except for to be in His presence and hear His voice. This doesn’t mean I will forsake reading scripture, or memorizing it. It doesn’t mean that I won’t study the Word deeply or read Christian books. It simply means that when I approach God during that time I will come with nothing but my open heart and open ears with no aim to please or appease.

I wonder if you have plates you need put away. I wonder if you are feeling tired like I so deeply felt last year, where did it start? What’s the about? Can here God’s voice calling you to come away with Him?

Let’s pray.

Praising the LORD!

2006-01-25T14:57:00.000-06:00

I have been more humbled in the last few weeks than I can ever remember in my life. I wanted to give a little update.....as of today (1-25-06) God has provided:

$2675 in one-time gifts, and
$125 in monthly suport!

God is using each one of you to make amazing things happen! Thanks so much for your prayers and giving! I am blessed beyond words.

Motivated

2006-01-19T15:13:00.000-06:00

"From the perspective of the gospel, fund-raising is not a response to a crisis. Fundraising is, first and foremost, a form of ministry. It is a way of announcing our vision and inviting other people into our mission." -Henri Nouwen

In this process of fundraising I have learned a great deal about the LORD as well as my own heart. I have recognized an anxiety and a fear in my heart that lives in the dark places where I believe the enemy can easily deceive me. I am deceived in ways that take my trust away from God, I am deceived into thinking that God would provide for the needs of others but overlook me, I am deceived by my own strength to a point that I begin to rely on it instead of relying on the LORD and the body of Christ. There are many other ways I am tossed about in this journey of faith. However, every time I come up against a doubt or a fear, I hear truth from the Word and from those who love me. (Psalm 84:5-7, Romans 8:32, Isaiah 45:2-3 are just some of the verses that have been encouraging to me in the last few days)

I was asked by a friend just last night, "Is your heart still for the ministry?" She wanted to know if my heart had changed because of my financial situation. I told her, "Ya know, it's funny, my heart is actually more for the ministry as a result of this. It's made me see just how much I love those students. And it's made me realize how big my heart is for ASU's campus." The thing that kills me is that there are students who I am committed to on that campus who are feeling a sense of abandonment from me. They feel a little scared that I wouldn't be there for them all of a sudden. I talked with one of my dearest student friends about it today. I actually woke up thinking about her and how I needed to tell her that I was still committed to her even though I'm fundraising right now. She was relieved to hear me say that I am still there for her and that I am not abandoning her.

Do you see how the enemy can deceive? Do you see how our own flesh can live in doubt and fear? I am praying that the LORD would use this not only in my life but in the lives of the students I hang out with as well as the lives of those of you who are faithfully supporting me.

It is a good fight...One well worth fighting. The only reason I can say this is because of Who is actually fight for me.

Want to give and don't know how??

2006-01-17T14:58:00.000-06:00

Fundraising is an important and trust-forming part of what I do. I can't do this work on ASU's campus without the faithful prayers and financial giving of individuals, families and churches. Please pray about how you can join with me in reaching the next generation of leaders with the Gospel of Jesus. If you feel the LORD prompting your heart to join my partnership team (monthly, annually, quarterly or a special gift) I would be so grateful!

Here's how: Send your check made payable to the Navigators to my address:

4581 S Mill Ave
Tempe, AZ 85282

Just let me know if it's a special gift or a monthly commitment. Thanks to all of you who have supported me in the last two years - it blesses my socks off! I truly couldn't do this without you!

The things the LORD is showing me...

2006-01-16T21:39:00.000-06:00

When we pray the LORD answers - most often in ways that are unexpected. I started studying beauty a few weeks ago in scripture. What does it really mean? What does the Bible say about it? Is is powerful? Is it good? I learned that the same word used for beauty when referring to a beautiful woman, is also used when describing some of God's characteristics - like His glory, His goodness, His renown. Basically God's very character is beautiful. I began to pray that the LORD would show me more of His beauty, and more of His character. A few weeks prior to this I was convicted of pride in my life and so I asked that He teach me to be a woman of humility.

The answer? An $8500 deficit in my funding which is keeping me off campus until I am 100% funded. "How," you might ask, "is God showing you beauty and humility through that?!" Well, let me tell you....For starters, He has reminded me of His love for me. The challenge of fundraising has brought me back to my knees which is a place where I can more clearly see the face of God, His character and His beauty. He is showing me His beauty through His sovereignty, His provision, His people, His protection and through the Word. Isaiah 44:1-5 spoke pretty poignantly to my heart tonight in the middle of making funding phone calls. I was fearful and tired. I was worn out and a little overwhelmed. And this is what God said,

1 "But now listen, O Jacob, my servant,

Israel, whom I have chosen.
2 This is what the LORD says

he who made you, who formed you in the womb,

and who will help you:

Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant,

Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land,

and streams on the dry ground;

I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,

and my blessing on your descendants.
4 They will spring up like grass in a meadow,

like poplar trees by flowing streams.
5 One will say, 'I belong to the LORD ';

another will call himself by the name of Jacob;

still another will write on his hand, 'The LORD's,'

and will take the name Israel."

I am the LORD's, I am chosen by Him and He WILL help me. How's that for beauty? As for humility, I have no choice but to admit my weakness as a human, to admit the fact that I can't come up with $8500 on my own initiative. He must do it, or it absolutely will not happen.

What a LORD we serve. One who actually answers prayers. One who actually cares about the details of our lives. I am left raw and emotional. I am before the LORD with a heart waiting to see what He does so I can soon boast in His goodness all the more.

The Hysterical Things I See

2006-01-16T21:36:00.000-06:00

This is an actual sign I saw in a Mediterranean restaurant bathroom. Yep.

University Working on New Bible Study Dorm Policy

2006-01-13T09:34:00.000-06:00

You've got to check out this link:
http://www.crosswalk.com/news/1372789.html

The University of Wisconsin Eau-Claire is banning RA lead Bible studies to take place in their dorms. Many RA's who are Believers see thier job as a ministry and an opportunity to share the love of Jesus with their residents. It seems that they won't be able to do that at UW Eau-Claire as easily any more. PLEASE PRAY for the Universities accross America - pray that the LORD would make a way for the Gospel to be preached and for the glory and renoun of His name to echo the halls and sidewalks of every campus.